subliminal hits

Goodbye

2011-10-25T19:45:00.000-05:00

I’m still alive.

Figured the least I could do is let you folks know that.

Seems I’ve changed a ton over the last ten years or so that I’ve been blogging.
Wow, ten years, a decade seems like such a crazy long time to keep coming back to the great wide intarwebs and leave my thoughts on a screen for others to read.
Still, this has been a good thing, a ton of fun. So many amazing people have been met along the way, so much about my world and my life has changed. Almost always for the better too.

Here’s the thing…
I’m not going to write here anymore.

I’ll probably write.

There’s a small chance that I’ll start up a new blog under my actual real name.
It’s a small chance.
Tiny really.

But I wanted you kids to know that I’m good and alive and enjoying life.
I’ll also be sure to shoot emails and get in touch with those of you who have bothered shedding the anonymity to let me know who you are. If I start something new you’ll be the first kids to know.
For those of you who are still lurking after all of these years…well…I’ll probably post a link to anything new so you can still find me, no worries.

It’s just that blogging isn’t the catharsis that it used to be for me. I don’t come here anymore to work out my issues. Not that I have them all worked out by any means…I still have my share.
Just that writing it all down as I process it, or as a means of processing them, well…that doesn’t seem to work anymore.
Maybe because I’ve dealt with the big crazy major shit.
Maybe because I just don’t want to deal with what I have left in a public forum.
Probably a little bit of both.
I used to WANT to write, I’d be hanging out with friends when something hilarious would happen and I’d think “man this’d be an awesome entry”
Yeah, that just doesn’t happen anymore. I mean, there is still a high ratio of hijinx to normal in my life…just that I no longer feel compelled to put it down. The audience has changed I guess…hell…I’ve changed.
I’m just not the same man I was a decade ago, and I’d tell you that in this case that’s a good thing…that I’m a better man for everything I’ve learned and shared and done.
Anyway, the end result is that I’m going to move on.

Whatever you folks do, wherever you go…well…I wish you nothing but the best.

Take care.
Sub

Hanna

2011-06-29T20:28:00.000-05:00

Hanna

Director - Joe Wright
Writers - Seth Lochhead and David Farr

Starring - Saoirse Ronan, Cate Blanchett and Eric Bana

A teenage girl trained to hunt, fight, evade, and seek revenge by her ex-CIA father in the wilderness of Finland.
The young Ronan does an outstanding job playing the part of an outsider encountering an entirely new world. She's weird and different, awkward enough...and yet plausible.
The story is new and different, an excellent twist on an old genre.
Cate Blanchett never fails to impress, both in her abilities, and her choice of roles in excellent (if different) films. I'd like to note that I usually love different in this context.
This is no exception.

Hanna is a nonstop thrill ride, with short but excellently crafted fight scenes and chases interspersed with strange situations and great character development scenes.

Rent it, watch it, love it.
I made it my number 2 for the year.

-just missed your heart

Your Highness

2011-06-27T19:57:00.000-05:00

Your Highness

Director - David Gordon Green
Writers – Danny McBride and Ben Best

Starring - Danny McBride, Natalie Portman and James Franco

What to say, what to say…
Danny McBride, that’s really all I can put forth here.
Critics have referenced The Princess Bride but outside of the fact that this is a medieval adventure comedy…yeah I don’t see it.

So yes, Danny McBride.
If you don’t like him or his humor, you won’t like this film.
And I’d like to be original, but I can’t come up with anything better than the general consensus that this is what The Princess Bride would have been if William Goldman had been a 14 year old who was high as a kite when he wrote it.
That’s right…awkward dick jokes, and more swearing than most sailors would approve of.
It’s more like a bunch of freshmen hanging out telling ludicrously inappropriate jokes while some dragon adventure takes place in the background than it is a fantastic adventure.

That’s not to say it isn’t funny or quotable…just…yeah.
Watch it on cable, either drunk, high, or with a bunch of friends who are all looking for something stupid and immature…nothing highbrow.
Anti-highbrow actually.
Possible funny time had laughing with friends…but definitely not worth the price of admission.

For those of you who did spend money at the theatre, I apologize for taking so long to write this and warn you.

Sitting squarely at number 8 for the year.

-can do magic

dreaming big

2011-06-26T13:06:00.000-05:00

Motivation from webcomics:
"When even the smallest dream seems impossible, there is little motive to dream any larger. Work towards the small, and the larger will clarify."

That should be a mantra.

So much of what I wanted seemed impossible or completely out of reach. But here lately I've just ignored all the naysayers and the whatifs and decided to just do it.
Kind of like the cult of done.
Or perhaps Nike.
Damn you giant corporations and your catchy slogans.
Still though...yes...
Just do it.

Also, Sam and Fuzzy is pretty funny and a good way to pass a 16 hour shift.
When things are slow.
So not yesterday...yesterday everything was crazy nonstop crazy.
Did I mention crazy?

Back to the point...little dreams, a bunch of them make big dreams. I think they build up like a train gaining steam. With every little project I become more confident that I can do whatever I want.
In fact...
Talking to SweetD a few weeks ago, we were discussing my dream to build a house from scratch by myself...this is so ingrained in what I want, something I've thought about for so long that her question took me a bit by surprise...
"Do you even know how to build a house? I mean...have you ever built one before?"
Have I what now?
Of course I haven't...but that doesn't faze me anymore. I have read, researched, listened, discussed, and learned so much over the past, wow, 8 years...that (coupled with my recent confidence from all of these projects) I KNOW in my heart, there is no doubt, that I am fully capable of building a house.
Sure, I'll need help with the few plumbing and electrical measures I plan on including...but the building? I've got this.
I'm on it.

I think she was equally shocked that I was so certain...that I AM so certain, that I can do it.
Looking back at it, I think I'm shocked that it takes questions like that...and comments here from good friends about the assumed inevitability of these things...to make me truly face my future.
Weird times.

So yes...end of ranting ramble...hope you're having a lovely weekend.

-capable hands

Sucker Punch

2011-06-25T19:14:00.003-05:00

Sucker Punch

Director – Zach Snyder
Writer – Zach Snyder
Starring – Emily Browning, Vanessa Hudgens, and Jena Malone

I should warn you that the critics didn’t like this movie at all. They felt suckered possibly…or punched. Neither leaves you happy and those folks definitely weren’t jovial.

Having said that…I very much enjoyed the film.
A bunch even.

The difference is that I didn’t expect any far reaching plot or in depth discoveries about myself as a human being. Let’s look at the constituent parts…

Zach Snyder brought us 300 and Watchmen. Two visually stunning movies…but in both cases the story is already written. 300 is a brutal and heroic tale from history while Watchmen is a morality play of the best sort…but a comic book that left little need for interpretation.
Perhaps Mr Snyder needs to work on his writing, but as for directing he has a talent for the grand and the beautiful. This movie is definitely both of those things, with overwhelming fight scenes that the critics will tell you were unbelievable and over the top.

The story is about an abused girl sent to a mental institution by her greedy stepfather. She escapes to a fantasy world to deal with the horrors of her situation. There is plenty in that setup to allow a viewer to ask for something…anything deep and meaningful. So I can’t really blame the critics when they are disappointed…but honestly…

Emily Browning is a newcomer. I can’t tell you that she did a poor job, but she won’t be nominated for an Oscar either.
Vanessa Hudgens is here not because she’s an action star…but because she’s a pretty face that some of you will recognize.

So what exactly is this film?

This movie is hot chicks battling dragons, robots, orcs, and Nazis…
Nazis!
With crazy explosions, guns, weapons, and lap dances…
Sexy sexy lap dances.
And let me tell you folks…that’s all I expected. Hot chicks, crazy battles, and explosions.
I was not disappointed in the slightest.

I can tell you that I really liked the way they bounced between imagination and reality, that at times it was a little bit confusing but not enough for me to mind. I appreciated that they grabbed you right at the very beginning and threw you straight into the movie. I didn’t like the gimmick they used to actually begin the crazy fight scenes…but eh…I don’t have a good alternative to offer so eh…

Whatever…you know what to expect now. I’m ranking it fairly high, number 4 for the year…but you also know what I was looking for. Keep that in mind.

- fierce as any dragon

part vampire?

2011-06-24T16:30:00.000-05:00

Am I invisible? Honestly folks...you'd tell me wouldn't you?
Not that I think I'm always invisible, or even ever completely invisible. It's more like I'm slightly opaque...kinda like frosted glass.
Only I'm not supposed to be, right? That isn't normal.
And you would tell me wouldn't you?
I mean, say we're having a conversation over dinner and you look up at me over that forkfull of delicious pasta you're eating only to find that my entire left arm has disappeared.
You'd say something right?

I ask because I've been having trouble lately remaining substantial enough to be seen.
I mean...I never can catch myself...well...lacking...but I've begun to think that I'll casually look up into the mirror and just not be there...like someone out of a vampire movie.
Weird huh?

Take today for instance...
I'm in the bathroom stall doing my thing.
I know, but bare with me. (couldn't resist)
Really now, we have automatic flushers on the toilets triggered by a motion sensor that sees when you are in the stall and flushes when you leave.
When you leave...this is key.
Just now, it flushed once every 5 or 6 seconds...as if it just couldn't make up it's mind. Is someone standing there peeing? Maybe not. Yes, no, yes, no. The hell? I haven't moved...I'm not rocking back and forth...not bopping to a song, I don't suffer from parkinsons...at least not yet...knock on THAT wood will ya?
So what the hell?
And this isn't the first time dear readers...no. I've had strange run ins with mechanical molesters in the past. There was a door at the old job rigged to recognize when someone walked nearby and unlock so you could push it and leave. The number of times I hit that door like a brick wall and had to back off and wave at the sensor so that it'd see me...I can't even say.
In fact, one time, I stood and waved and nothing...just ignored me. Imagine looking up from your desk to see the funny guy with the pointy hair walking backwards and forwards in front of a door as if he's practicing for the moment he actually wants to leave.
The hell?
Then there are the motion sensors that go off on their own...the office light switch that kicks on before I'm even in the room, or at a spot where it can even register my movement.
How, in the name of all that is holy, does it know I'm going to enter the room before I'm actually in there? How?
Crazy bastard machines making me crazy.

Or maybe I'm just part vampire. Not full vampire mind you...just part, like my mom and dad had some twisted threesome with Count Dracula. Man...that's an image I won't get rid of for a few weeks.
Eew.

Really though...what's the deal? Any of you have this happen?

-type o negative

Rango

2011-06-19T06:26:00.002-05:00

Rango

Director – Gore Verbinski
Writer – John Logan

Starring – Johnny Depp and Isla Fisher
An animated comedy poking fun at the Spaghetti Westerns of old, this movie packs a ton of references into a funny little package.

We start with a thespian lizard playing Shakespeare to an audience of none, but his fortunes change and a bit of quick thinking lands him a role as Sheriff of the town of Dirt.
That’s right, Dirt.
Dirt is in the middle of the desert, and as such, water is power.
Power isn’t really what our hero is good at…he’s much better at being self deprecating and afraid…but he does this with excellent comedic timing. Heh.
The real push for me as an adult though…was all of the other references that have been thrown in. Don Quixote, Planet of the Apes, Fear and Loathing, Pirates of the Caribbean…there’s even a cameo by a certain western star, though it’d have been far better if he’d actually done the voice.

On top of the quotes and references…the movie is beautifully animated and hilarious in its own right. Playing the fourth wall is well done here, it doesn't take itself too seriously. I don’t think you’d have been disappointed in spending the price for a ticket…so now that I’ve posted this months late…don’t feel bad about a rental. It is definitely worth the time.

Came in at number 5 for now…though I think it’s kind of a tie with Battle: Los Angeles…really just depends on what you want to see, explosions and aliens or comedic lizard western?

-enjoys a hearty puttanesca

4 glasses of wine

2011-06-15T00:07:00.000-05:00

And I'm a bit drunk.
I'd say tipsy...but I'm past that stage. Tnough I seem to be typing somewhat decently, so go figure.
Anyway, yes...4 glasses of some sort of Top Chef Pinot Noir, it was delicious by the way, and I'm seeing more than one stove in the kitchen.
There's onlly supposed to be one.
Exactly.

Man I'm hitting the delete key alot. You dont' even know.
Hahaha.

Anyway...so I'm in Austin Texas visiting Monkey and her lovely family. I drove up here this afternoon, had a lovely dinner cooked by Monkey and too many glasses of whine to accompany said dinner. Yes, wine...it was delish...did I mention that? perhaps I did...I don't know.
Byt here's the thing...family...especially for little kids...
Do they need it? Grandparents and cousins and whatnot...how important are they? Because I firmly believe that it takes a village to raise a child, but I don't know that the village needs be all family and blood relations. In fact, I'd venture to say that those folks hand picked by the parents as good enough to set positive examples for the little ones are far better than blood relations.
Perhaps I'm biased, as Little A (Hotflashin's daughter) is a prime example, and I'm known as Uncle in that family...but honestly...blood relations you have no cchoice with, you take the good with the bad...everyone else...
Everyone else just has to be a badass or else you dump them and refuse to let them around your kid.
But that's just me.

Part of why I want littlesub here is that H has neither family nor an extensive network of friends...it's pretty much just the two of them. I want him to know that there are plenty of people out there that he can depend on, rely on, look up to...

Meh.
I'm drunk and headed to bed.
Hope you've allhad a fabulous Tuesday night...I know I did. :) hehehe

-lightweight

long weekends

2011-06-10T07:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my first day back from a five day weekend.
Five days...no joke.
Then I had what they call a short turn, and it's a double today and tomorrow.
Forty hours in just 3 days. It's a bit insane I know...but by doing the doubles I've managed to whittle myself down to a meager 12 days of work this month. My next weekend is six days long. I don't have a clue what to do with myself.

No, that's not entirely true.
I'll be hanging out with the niece again at the neighborhood pool. Once again the climbing and dunking toy of little kids everywhere. Ha...that was Tuesday...and we had a ton of fun. But yes, a repeat is in my future.
Also, I moved my current homebrew (a Scottish Ale) into the secondary. I'm guessing that I had a stuck fermentation because it started bubbling away again not six hours after being transferred.
Anyway, so this next batch of days will contain soap making as well as sausage making, and possibly...hopefully...a trip to Austin. I am very much looking forward to it.

When I think about the next year and what it has in store, I freak out a little.
All of these projects make me happy, my goal is to by property and do those projects full time...but sometimes the prospect is a little overwhelming. Right now I need to confirm status of littlesub and his visit here this summer. Then I'll be looking into what kind of property is available.
Baby steps.

-freakin' out man

on work and joy

2011-06-03T06:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday as I walked out of the building I passed a coworker on their way in to the office.
She was smiling.
This may seem like no big deal...a happy person...calm down Sub, it's okay if she's happy.
But what struck me is that she isn't the first, that this seems to be a theme. Certainly for those of us who moved over from the other joint, the current gig is so much easier and less stress.
We didn't used to be happy. One of my main focuses as a supervisor previously was to manage expectations and attitudes...to keep people as happy as I could in a stressful crazy overwhelming environment. It was so easy to lose that fight, to watch a scheduler sit with tears in their eyes angrily working as those drops rolled down red cheeks. To listen as expletives suddenly poored forth regarding a change in situation or the unprofessional manner of coworker.
Expletives were just part of life at that place.

Here...here it is quiet, professional, easy...and we get paid more to boot.

It's normal to pass people who are smiling...actually smiling on their way into work. I guess it's kind of like me with my past relationships. I mean, once you've had the worst, everything else is so simple.

Everyone should be happy on their way to work. At the very least, they should not have a frown...or be hanging their heads like a beaten dog on their way in the doors.
That's part of the reason that I'm pursuing the farm thing so fervently. Why it is such a huge part of my thoughts now. You see...I really can't imagine how happy and content I'll be when I finally wake up one morning and all I have to do for the day is take care of my animals, my garden, and do something creative with food or one of my mad scientist experiments. I might actually be too happy the day that happens.
I'll let you know how it goes.

In the meantime...free advice to my friends...
Work shouldn't beat you down and make you miserable. Granted...it may not bring you joy on a daily basis (though this should be the goal) but if you wake up dreading it...find something new. Life is too damned short to be unhappy and miserable 5 days a week.
Now...I have some research to do for that farm...and you should be hunting down your dreams too. Get on it!

-dream hunter

must be 18 to enter

2011-05-31T07:05:00.000-05:00

It was a very full weekend, very full indeed.
3 days off and a holiday to boot. Excellent!

Friday I worked a night shift.
Saturday, I saw Hangover Part 2. If you liked the first one, see the second one. Yes it is an almost identical plot in the most basic sense, but it’s still hilarious. I’m way behind on the reviews…you’ll be seeing a lot of them over the next two weeks.

Anyway, the real highlight of the film wasn’t the movie, it was the fact that I managed to refrain from choking the hell out of the woman next to me.
Out of control, I know…but allow me to set the scene.

Saturday afternoon on Memorial Day weekend for a relatively popular release…I manage to walk into the theatre right as the previews start...it’s obviously packed. As a result, my seat choice was limited so I picked something on the first row up the stairs. Not as far back as I would have liked, but not front row either. With it as full as it is I moved all the way in and left two seats open on the end of the row. Two or three previews in a woman came and sat down right next to me.
Not rude or a problem right? Nothing really wrong here…why are you so angry Sub? This is what you are asking yes?
You see, her daughter was sitting on the other side of her.
Still confused yes? Not sure why I’d be so angry about a mother and daughter sitting down next to me at an R rated movie. I get it. I do…so I’ll add the final bit of information that should explain everything.
Her daughter was maybe six or seven years old.

Exactly.

I was livid. I really was. It was all I could do not to cuss her sorry ass out of the theatre. Who the hell brings a seven year old to a rated R movie that we all know will be chock full of nudity and foul language.
Perhaps she didn’t realize? Sure…lets give her the benefit of the doubt. Except that, should she have been confused, you’d expect that this poor mother would have been shocked, and immediately left the theatre the first time there was excessive cussing or a naked cock was shown on the screen.
You know…the responsible thing.
Instead, this woman was just laughing and laughing. Yay for horribly scarring your daughter you crazy bitch.

Still mad. Yes, I am.

It isn’t as if Kung Fu Panda 2 didn’t come out the same weekend. There were other far more appropriate options.
Galldarnrickafracka!
Anyway, I kept my mouth shut and didn’t cause a scene. Mostly because I don’t know her and it’s not my business if she wants to be a terrible parent. Had she been family or a friend I’d have torn them a new one.
So yes…excitement of the wrong sort but excitement nonetheless.

Saturday night we got the band back together, and Sunday afternoon was spent at a family lunch with my Uncle and cousins.

Sunday night I hit TQLA in the Washington Corridor area downtown. D-frickin-licious. I had a crawfish spinach enchilada with mushroom sauce and goat cheese. Go eat there. It was awesome. My date loved her meal too. Good times.
Speaking of dates. We had a lot of fun. The conversation was excellent and I’m really comfortable with her. I don’t think we’ll be anything more than make out partners…but I’ve said for a long time that people don’t make out enough…so we can do our small part to fix that. Heh

Then yesterday was dinner with the family. Dad made ribs and brought potato salad, while I provided eggplant, asparagus, and a roasted potato and carrot dish. I have a picture of it, I’ll try and throw that in here tomorrow. Everything was fantastic.
Dad and I finished the evening with rootbeer/whiskey floats.
Wheeeee!

That is all. I think you have enough to read for today. Go try a rootbeer/whiskey float. Just a little less than a shot of whiskey is enough to provide a pleasant kick without overpowering the rootbeer or ice cream.
Do it.

-fun for all ages

searching for joy

2011-05-27T15:55:00.000-05:00

Work is quiet and I’m trying to develop the writing habit again. Let’s see how this goes. The first few hours of the day are an excellent opportunity, as I’m not supposed to be on the net during the workaday 9 to 5 hours…but after is apparently acceptable? Well…assuming that it is quiet and all of upper management is gone for the day.
Anyway, so when it is quiet during the first few hours I’m left twiddling my thumbs…or writing an email, which is what this looks like at the moment.

I’ve decided that I can’t worry or focus on the relationship stuff. Certainly it will be in my mind, and I’ll be dating still…when I can…but it seems that’s most of what I’ve been focusing on lately and that is getting me nowhere.
So, no more stressing, and no more drama. Okay, I’m sure there will be some drama, but we are keeping it to a minimum.

Instead, I’m going to focus on my future, on making decisions and doing what I need to do to be happy.

I want a farm.

No that’s not a joke or a typo. I’m going to be a farmer.
Ever since I moved back to Texas I’ve been drawn to handmade projects. More than anything those involving food. I want to be independent and capable of taking care of myself. Knowing where my food comes from is very important to me. When I make bread, butter, jam…whatever…there is a joy there that is undeniable. It’s silly…I’m well aware, but that joy is what I want every day. Certainly, there will be rough days and hardships. Sometimes everything will go wrong, and I’m okay with that. Because I want all of the good that comes with this decision too.
You can’t possibly understand how happy it made me when Converse called last year asking for advice on how to make jam. Or when Monkey calls asking about a certain dish, because I’m her other amateur chef and she’s hoping I can provide insight.
Maybe if you had seen the smile on my face as I stood in a bedroom doorway watching a young woman dance absentmindedly as she cooked an alfredo sauce for herself…something I taught her…

That same happiness hits me every time I crack open a bottle of cider or beer. It was the same as a group of friends stood around tasting the cheese I made. I can’t wait to delve into the world of charcuterie…of home smoked bacon and cure pancetta…lardo….
Oh man…lardo…

Because here’s the thing…I’m getting excited just writing about this. I’m not going to get rich or famous…but I’m pretty certain that I’ll be over the moon with joy every day. Because this is what makes me happy…so it’s what I need to do.

So yes…a farm.
Some day soon.

-joy in every bite

not so alone afterall

2011-05-20T22:12:00.002-05:00

Again...I've been inspired to write.

There was some confusion in my last post, SweetD isn't all that crazy...but I wasn't very clear. That ramble included a number of different women. One of them is all sorts of crazy and shares SweetD's thought that I'm the one who got away. Those of you who've been around a while know exactly who I'm referring to.

Now, the comment that led to this also included a lovely compliment that I very much appreciate.
Here's the thing...I feel pretty damned confident most of the time. I'm in this weird spot where it seems like I can do just about anything I want to, and get just about any woman I set my sights on.
Well, within reason mind you.
But yes, I have moments where I feel like a complete badass...perhaps I'm getting a bit too cocky?
Nevermind.
The point is...even while I feel that, there's this nagging doubt that I've fucked it up and I'm going to end up alone. Now...I know that isn't true...that I'll always have family and I am lucky enough to have some very true friends. But unless Lungclam has decided he'd be willing to get naked for me occasionally and spoon maybe once a week or so...I'm not going to have anyone to share my bed with.
Hahaha...that's so dirty.
But yes...alone...not quite alone really...but no one to share my bed with, and I'm a cuddler, I kinda require a sexy warm body in my bed.

Having said that...Anonymous..."Relish the opportunity to experience something new."
That's beautiful. I'll keep it in mind as I move forward. I'll also try and make more opportunities.
For example, I didn't talk about it, but I was a total nerd last weekend. I shot that rocket with the homemade motor mount Saturday morning.
Worked like a charm.
A serious charm.
In fact, it was so good that on the second launch it drifted beyond the edge of the sizable field we were using and got stuck in a very tall pine tree.
The sister felt terrible because she was the one that packed the rocket and set it all up for the second launch. I promised it wasn't her fault and not to worry. I took up rocketry because it costs like $10 to replace the damned thing. No biggie.
Plus...the homemade motor mount was a success. The point of the whole outing was to watch a rocket shoot up high into the sky. That we did. Twice.Woot!

Then on Sunday I made beer. It's called 90 Shilling, and is a semi dark scottish ale that is currently aging in my closet.

So, wrapping up...I'm a confident, almost cocky, nerd who is doing his best to get out and have new adventures. Thank you for the comments, I'll keep the posts coming.

-cocky

so much to say

2011-05-17T20:41:00.000-05:00

Its been a long week.
Work is going well, the difference at this place is so...umm...different? Ha.
No really though, it's a world away from what I was dealing with.

Funny how the employees that I speak with on a regular basis are all very professional and polite instead of rude and angry. You wouldn't think that two groups of people in the same profession could handle themselves so differently.
No, maybe you can, but I didn't. I hadn't a clue. That's probably why it strikes me like it does. It honestly blows me away how much different these folks are. Really goes to show how much impact can be made by fostering a professional environment and holding folks accountable for their actions.
Crazy.

SweetD and I have been talking. I'm not sure where that is taking us. Apparently there were some miscommunications that lead to our breakup. Some very crazy assumptions were made on her end...well...maybe not crazy, I can see her logic...just can't believe she assumed some of these things without questioning why I'd be THAT much of a dick.
Because I'm not...and I wasn't...and well...those assumptions are how we got to the end of our rope.

That still doesn't put us back together, but this new information means that perhaps our paths weren't as far apart as I previously thought. Maybe I'm just grasping at straws because I'm still afraid of being alone.
I know she feels that way...she called me "the one that got away"
I hate being called that.
No, I don't...I just don't like it.
No, I do...in one case...because she's crazy and I definitely got away and she knows it...which makes me happy every time I think about it.
Boys...don't stick your dick in crazy.
That's solid advice by the way...words to live by. I'm not even joking.

Back to that phrase though...why do I have to be the one that got away? Why can't I just be some other guy that you had a great time with for a while and then our paths separated? Why is it such a sad thing?
Okay...crazy can be sad...but the rest of you?
Meh.
Seems I'm just spouting off now but there you have it. The topic du jour.

My Uncle is in Paris...seems he is having a fantastic time...I'm a little bit jealous.

Also, littlesub is having issues...so is his mom...don't know what is going on but I can't seem to reach her either...so yeah. Good times.

Okay, I'm out. Back soon I think. We'll see.

-getting away

surgery anyone?

2011-05-09T22:57:00.000-05:00

Thank you both for the comments on the last entry.

I agree that hate breeds hate. To take it another step, anger breeds anger, love breeds love.
Also, killing them with kindness never literally works...though it is a nice strategy to employ from time to time.
That guy cutting off people left and right with no signal or regard for those around him is ruining the day for his fellow drivers...and to a lesser extent he is ruining the days of those around them. That cycle will rage on, every person a pebble in a pond with angry ripples emanating from the center.

War is a much larger, violent, extreme version of that analogy. The countless dead and injured, their surviving families...whole regions of the world torn apart.
The ripples much larger,
Time to heal far greater...

I may still believe there is sometimes no other alternative...but I'm starting to wonder how you end them once begun.

Are we spreading democracy in those regions? It certainly seems we are.
Is that our place? In my opinion no. This is just the new "White Man's Burden". The players are different...now not a race issue, but possibly first nation status? And our "responsibility" to teach other nations to emulate us because we are so amazingly awesome.
Riiiiiight.
If Dj is reading this he just started a mental list of all the horrible things going wrong in our two respective countries. War not withstanding.
Heh

I was one of the ones who said it was okay to go to war to prevent the deaths of countless thousands of our countrymen. Never mind that those reasons have turned out false...we can argue the problems of political posturing and grandstanding and I can easily point out how decisions made long ago painted a number of people into corners where the only option was continue down a poor path or lose respect internationally.
Meh.
I digress.

I do believe that we have the right to defend ourselves...even against a potential threat that has made it very clear they wish us harm and have the means to accomplish that task.
But what cost is reasonable in that defense?
This is where I've lost my bearing.

The surgical strike on Osama's compound is a perfect counterpoint to the ongoing wars actually. One recognized a threat and nullified it with minimal physical impact to the surrounding buildings, family, and even nation.
The others...well...do a google search or two...plenty of evidence from a ten year old war to see how badly we've damaged an entire country.

Of course...even the surgical strike isn't perfect. Is it murder? Was his death necessary? What about the political and social ramifications of sneaking into another country to attack a building and kill people we deem a threat to our security?
Man...you put Osama's name on it and everyone accepts it...but if you placed that description anywhere else there'd be an uproar.

Lots to think about...but it's all still bouncing around. Feel free to continue the conversation...

-not a surgeon

news from perry

2011-05-04T00:02:00.000-05:00

Perry Farrell told me that Osama Bin Laden is dead.
Perry Farrell.
The lead singer of a popular band conveyed news to me that seems to be of such amazing import.
Seems.
But I'm not sure how to take it, and I'm not sure how important it really is.
Osama is dead.
Certainly, I won't argue that the world is now so much worse without him in it, that he was some bright light that will be sorely missed.
No. Not that.
But better?
To say that the world is now vastly improved by his removal from it...
I'm not sure that can be said.

Bear with me here...this is still being sorted out...bouncing around my head for two days and it still hasn't found rest.

But a better place?
Everyone cheered at the news. Ten thousand human voices shouting in jubilation at the news of his death.
Just writing that seems so macabre, and I'm still not sure how I feel.
Mostly though, it's not this single loss of life that upsets me but the overwhelming joy that seems to have come from us as a result.
Joy may be too strong a word.
It is...too strong...but I'm not sure what word is proper here.
There is no doubt that many found the news of his death to be cathartic, as if a switch had been flipped. Relief and whatnot pouring forth.
But that is so misplaced...we are still at war...one death isn't going to change that. I mean, there are so many deaths every day, on both sides, and yet we still fight.
I have the sad feeling that many in those countries would argue that their main reason for fighting is the same one that was given by so many Confederate soldiers in the Civil War..."You're here aren't ya?"

Man it's so weird to sit on the side of a group that doesn't want war...that doesn't want to fight. But I have no desire to pick a fight, to continue it, I just want to protect those I love and care for...
And I'm pretty sure that everyone on the planet has figured out that it's a bad idea to fuck with America...so can we just stop?
Just stop.

Probably not. It's never that simple.
These are all randoms...strands that have been floating around, as mentioned, for the past 48 hours. Please don't jump down my throat...but feel free to comment even if you disagree.

dear anonymous...

2011-04-24T12:37:00.001-05:00

Anonymous, I miss it too.

Seems I can't find that place anymore, and I don't know why.
Over time I think I've just started censoring myself too much. Closing off all of those doors to rooms still unfurnished.
The only things I share are those I'm relatively certain of, that I've thought on for hours.
No, that's not right.
I don't share those thoughts either, because they are sorted and straight. No need to get them out, to see them in black and white.

Maybe part of it is that I just don't take the time to sit down and write. I'm out of practice, words don't flow.
That used to happen you know? Flow flow flow.
I'd sit down at the computer and
letter word phrase
they'd come splashing out,
brain fingers keys screen
and there would be an entry, raw and energetic, containing all that was in that crazy mixed up room in my head. Sometimes jumbled, sometimes neatly organized, usually somewhere between the two.

Practice is what I need...but yeah...I don't get it. Perhaps I've become apathetic...I lack the energy to get riled up and on the war path, to spill out my guts. Or I just lack the bravery...I'm hiding in the corner now afraid of what others will think of these words. Or just afraid of what will happen if I put them all down. Of what may actually come out of this head. I don't know if I'm comfortable anymore. I like who I am, just don't know if I'm happy with where I'm going.

Meh.
Mostly I'm just out of practice. The new job is supposed to be uber quiet and simple...so maybe I'll have more time. That's when I did most of my writing before, back when I was just a minion myself...so hopefully I can return to that.
It felt good to have something substantial here instead of just using it as a calendar...a spot to write down my comings and goings.
Which is where I am now at.
I don't know...but time ticks by and I have one week left of the old job...today is day 1 of 4...gotta run.

Meh.
Today was a decent start.We'll see.

-not quite perfect

new math

2011-04-16T13:41:00.001-05:00

Last night saw yours truly entering a bar not too far from Post Oak to hang out with California.
California is the lovely minion who is moving with me to the new job, so she'll soon cease to be a minion and will then be a coworker.
California is probably my new best friend.
That sounds silly, and neither Hotflashin' nor Monkey have anything to worry about...but yes...California and I have a mad brother/sister/bff connection. It is awesome.

Anyway, we met for drinks, she introduced me to her new man, good times were had.
Too much good times.
Too much.

Now it hurts.
It hurts because two shots were ordered, with the thought that this would see me through the rest of the evening. Only those two shots were both doubles and California's new man bought another round on top. With a bit of quick alcoholic math you can see how two shots quickly became six, and now it hurts.
It was fun though, and this man needed the trip out of the house. So yes.
How was your Friday night?

-hungover

jolly brown

2011-04-15T15:39:00.000-05:00

I'm working back up to regular posts.
SweetD and I are no more. I think I've mentioned that.
It kinda sucks I gotta say. Because I do think the world of her, and I enjoy her company, but still...completely different paths so it was doomed.
DOOM!

heh...Invader Zim is the bomb.

Last night I hung out with the Jolly Brown Giant, forever after known as JBG. She calls herself that so I think it's okay if I give her that nickname here. I hope so, because she's fantastic and a good friend. So there should be stories in here to come. Anyway, yes, JBG, the sis, and myself hit Molly's here in The Woodlands for drinks. Great converstaion and good times. I've logged back into OkCupid for the first time in forever...even downloaded the app...but I changed my status to basically just looking for friends. We'll see how that goes.

This morning I woke up early, headed downtown to turn in the last of my paperwork for the new job, and confirmed my start date as May 2nd. I ended up talking to like 6 people who used to work for me or with me. It was a bit crazy. This is almost like transferring to a different department, not moving to an entirely new company.

Then on the way home, I bought 2 new tires and a battery for the GTI. $600 down, but the car will be mucho happy with me.
I was supposed to brew beer this weekend...but I don't know if it's going to happen. Oh, and Pixie! I made vegan cheese last weekend. It's currently aging. Taste test tonight or tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes. :)

Boring really, I know, but that's all I've got for now.

-busy bee

Battle: Los Angeles

2011-04-10T21:12:00.001-05:00

Battle: Los Angeles

Director - Jonathan Liebesman
Writer - Christopher Bertolini

Starring - Aaron Eckhart and Michelle Rodriguez

Cloverfield meets Black Hawk Down.
That's really all you need.
There is a cool subplot regarding the main character, and the movie is well executed.
Aliens attack the planet, we don't see too much of them, the pace is frenetic at times, and there is definitely that macho war feel you get from Black Hawk Down.

Good Freaking Movie Man. I'm putting it at number 4 for the year, under Tron, but it's really close to a tie with that movie.

-obsessed with the fat lady

The Eagle

2011-04-07T18:27:00.000-05:00

The Eagle

Director - Kevin Macdonald
Writers - Jeremy Brock and Rosemary Sutcliff

Starring - Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, and Donald Sutherland

This is a redemption tale.
Except there's no need for the main character to redeem himself.
This is a story of honor, except even that is muddled and sometimes pushed too far.
Okay, so it's an epic quest...pulled off through deception and thievery?
It's a buddy tale...as told in the last 30 seconds of the film where they make lighthearted jokes about the whole thing?

Man I'm confused.

Channing and Jamie do a decent job playing their roles, no complaint there. Sutherland has a good sized supporting role, and delivers well as always.

Here's the thing...the plot sucks and the story is mediocre.
But the history they tell and pictorals? Beautiful.
The cinematographer is fantastic...man deserves a medal. The fight scenes are really well done, and while much of the middle section of the movie is slow drudgery...it does so with fantastic scenery and visuals.

Don't spend money on this. It's number 5 for now, and will stay at the bottom unless something truly horrible comes along.

-the eagle is rome

slumber, or lack thereof

2011-04-06T12:27:00.000-05:00

The dreams continue as I toss and turn.
Monday night, was a continuation of me as murderer. The friend I had killed from Sunday morning? Yeah, apparently I had stuffed the body in a box and hidden that in a refrigerated storage shed.
Only I shared the shed with other people, and they needed to move stuff around and check which boxes were what. I spent the entire dream trying to keep them from touching or messing with that one box while helping them move everything else around.
It was like Tetris of the Damned.

Last night I was living at an insanely large apartment complex where, it turns out, one of my old minions also lived. She was practicing her bowhunting skills by shooting at a target.
I joined her.
Why? Why would I do that?
At some point she morphed into one of my exes, and we were discussing how we ended up back together...as we continued to shoot at the target.

It's got to be the change in weather. That always throws me off. I'm taking something tonight. Not sure what yet...but something good that will knock me the hell out.

-the real slim shady

Gnomeo and Juliet

2011-04-05T18:09:00.000-05:00

Gnomeo and Juliet

Director - Kelley Asbury
Writers - William Shakespeare and Kelley Asbury

Starring - James McAvoy and Emily Blunt

I'm waaaay late on writing this one, and the next, and kinda late on even the one after that...forgive me?
Anyway...this is cute, funny, and highly quoteable for kids. I know because I took my lovely niece LittleA.
You know the story, or at least I hope you do. I liked the Elton John that was thrown in, but I hear many people didn't appreciate it at all. It is simple, with a ton of one liners, but I don't think they went over the top.
LittleA loved it, and the two of us quoted it the whole ride home.
As a standalone movie for adults...not at all. but the kid loved it so yeah.

For all of the little things, and the recommendation that you should definitely take the kids...it is at the bottom of the list for the moment at number 4.

-a weed by any other name

on seasoned fries

2011-04-04T18:01:00.001-05:00

I call this place subliminal hits, a reference to background thoughts and ideas, to dreams and random notions...
Last night found this man tossing and turning as dreams and thoughts assaulted his mind with stunning clarity. At one point chased by ex girlfriends begging for marriage, another I had slept in past my showtime at the new job...the one I don't start for 3 more weeks. Inbetween are half remembered images of real people that I know in surreal settings...a hospital, a mountainside, a desert ridge...
Waking suddenly, covered in sweat, at the thought of screwing myself so thoroughly at the new job...it took me a minute to gather my thoughts, to realize that it was monday morning, that I still have a month to go at the old job before starting the new.

Then I realized that this was my body's way of paying me back for drinking and staying out far too late last night. Evil evil body.
So my painful yelling sweaty sorry bag of bones was rolled out of bed, quickly showered, though I wanted desperately to stay under the spray of hot water for an hour at the very least...and got ready for work.

Work is good...meh...make that decent. I'm dealing with the douche supervisor...and I don't even know why he's here, but he is. Whatever, I'll make do.
For all of my whining about hangovers and the pain we must endure the morning after, I had fun last night with that minion that needs a nickname and one of our flight attendants. Good times and good conversations...followed by a late night snack at Jack in the Box.
Let's be honest, my body was probably more angry about Jack in the Box than the drinking. Lesson learned...I'll try to refrain from the siren song that is Jack's seasoned curly fries in future.

-what happened last night

peanutella

2011-04-03T21:59:00.000-05:00

I made this yesterday.
The recipe came out to roughly two pints and it tastes fantastic.
I gave one of the pints to Barista as a birthday gift.
Also, Z (boyfriend) proposed to her at the birthday party...how awesome is that? She said yes...because he's a Superhero! hehehe
All in all it was a pretty great night.
I met a bunch of new people, hung out with Converse and her man, and just generally had fun.
I left there about 2230 and met up with one of the minions...who needs a nickname because I'm sure I'll be spending more time with her in the future.
She's a good kid.
We had two drinks at The Harp before I sent her off to hookup with her new man.
Because I'm cool like that.

Did I mention that I got the other job? I start the first of May. More money, better flight benefits, less responsibility, room to move up, and they don't leave town until march or april of next year...so that gives me a year to make up my mind about moving.
It's truly a win win win.
Winning!

Okay, that's all...I am out.

-got his peanutbutter in your chocolate

zzzzz

2011-03-19T04:42:00.000-05:00

I'm not sleeping.
And when I do sleep it isn't restful, but comes in fits and starts.
In the past 10 days the only full night of rest I've had was this past tuesday night when I slept at my place in preparation for the interview.
That night I crawled into bed, set the alarm, turned off the light, and woke up 7 glorious hours later to my alarm.

The only night of full sleep in 10 days.

Last night, I got just two hours.
Taken one at a time.
This just isn't working.

I'mma go work now.
Will fill you in on the interview (it went well) and St. Patrick's Day (I got quite drunk) later.

-gets no sleep

the thick of it

2011-03-14T20:34:00.002-05:00

The weekend was good, a much needed break.
Today started a very long week for me.
2 days on, wed off, and then another 6 straight.

Oh, and I got the call today for an interview at CAL. It'll be on Wednesday, so fingers crossed for me okay?

Other than that I've been doing pretty well. SweetD and I had dinner at Benihana on Thursday night, which would have been about perfect had the night not ended with an argument in regards to marriage and commitment and whatnot.
Meh.
I feel bad that I can't give her what she wants, but...I just can't. I'm trying, but it just doesn't seem like it's going to happen. She said something that night that just won't leave my head...
She said "You just want to spend time with me when you want to spend time with me."
To which I responded "Well don't you just want to spend time with me when you want to?"
"But I ALWAYS want to spend time with you!"

Exactly.
Because if we get down to the thick of it, I don't have any need to see her every day or spend all of my time with her. That's sad, and probably not cool...but it's also true.
I care about her very much. I want her to be happy. I've put this off long enough...but the longer it goes the more it seems that I really just am not the right man for her.

On a side note...I have a new anonymous reader. I kinda thought it was SweetD to be honest, but the internet provider doesn't match. Whomever it is lives pretty close by though...so hello new reader. Please feel free to say hi sometime and introduce yourself k?
Okay.

-angst ridden blogger

I'm older and whatnot

2011-03-09T22:36:00.001-06:00

My birthweek was fantastic!
I had good food and enjoyed good times with good folks.
Woot!

Let's see let's see...
Thursday my Dad came by so a group of us hit a burger joint locally and hung out for a bit. Then on Friday I picked up OT here at the office, followed by dinner with the whole family at Chi Sushi here in the Woodlands. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before, but that place is fantastic. An order of hot sake', some sushi...which my sister even tried and enjoyed. Then a big plate of tempura. Good times.
My Mom is pretty set in her ways foodwise so my Dad doesn't get to venture out and enjoy some of the more exotic things that I can tell he likes...so this was kind of a treat for him. He really enjoyed the sushi. Seeing how happy he was with the food kind of made my day...it was like a bonus birthday gift to me. heh
Afterwards, a few of us hit Coldstone at Market Street for some ice cream...because I was totally craving it and it was my birthday, so there!
Mmmm then Saturday morning I met...we'll just call her CapitalA for the moment (Monkey...please help me with a nicname for her yeah?)
I met CapitalA at the mall and the two of us ran into Hubbell and Hudsons to grab a few items for the weekend trip to Austin. Then away we went...like 2 hours later than planned...but we were on our way!
Austin was hella fun.
The sis headed up later and we all stayed at Monkey's house with her Husband and their little one. CapitalA and Monkey set up a scavenger hunt for the 12 gift cards they bought me. Had me searching around the house like a kid on Easter. It was hilarious though. I'm glad they did it. That night was a lovely dinner of roast chicken and vegetables prepared by Monkey. Oh, and CapitalA provided a crap ton of cupcakes for the weekend too.
We all stayed up drinking and playing games until the wee hour of 2330. That's right, I was in bed before midnight...because I'm old now. haha
Anyway, then sunday morning I finished my kite and we headed to the Austin Kite Festival at Zilker park. It was so much fun. We had a picnic with all the food from Hubbell and Hudsons plus fruit and drinks provided by Monkey and crew.
I got lots of compliments on the artwork for my kite...but it didn't fly. It just wasn't stable. Meh. I'm learning and I still had fun.

Okay...the minions have gathered around like a gaggle of vultures...they want to go home early. Must get to work. Have a lovely night.

-employee of the month

today is my birthday

2011-03-02T21:36:00.000-06:00

For reals!
It's been a good day too.
The sis bought me a book to add to my growing collection...The Bread Bible...Woot!
Also, a knife that I lost over a year ago came back to me. I got it from my grandad...so it's kindof a big deal to me. Totally random, but I apparently lost it in the office, and a coworker had it out on his desk tonight...
I asked him about it and he was all "yeah, I found it forever ago...why? Is it yours?"

Holy crapola...what a great birthday gift?

One of the minions bought me a cake, and a good friend stopped by the office with my order of apple pie moonshine.

The only down side to this bright day is that I had to work.
Hope you all enjoyed my birthday as much as I have.
I'm out.

-smells like a monkey

galloping to the rescue

2011-02-27T17:31:00.000-06:00

I pissed off SweetD yesterday.
She called early in the morning, from work, because she was having horrible cramps. She really really needed me to go to her apartment and get some ibuprofen and bring it to her.
She works like 10 minutes away, and her apartment is pretty much en route...
My response?
Isn't there a drugstore or cart at the mall that has that stuff?

To which she replied something angry and huffy about how I should nevermind and then ended the call.

Here's the thing...she wants a knight in shining armor...and I'm just not him. I mean, if her car broke down in the middle of nowhere I would go pick her up and help her sort it. If her apartment caught on fire I'd make sure she had a place to stay...
But for the little things that she can take care of herself?
Yeah...apparently I just don't do that.

A few minutes later she texted to let me know that one of her coworkers had ibuprofen and she was fine.
Right.

I'm still a jackass right?
Meh.

-still in bed

The Green Hornet

2011-02-26T15:34:00.000-06:00

The Green Hornet

Director - Michel Gondry
Writers - Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg

Starring - Seth Rogen and Jay Chou

This is more of an anti-superhero movie more closely resembling Max Smart than it does Batman. Seth Rogen turns Brit Reid into a childish buffoon, and does such a good job that at times you really want to smack him. His sidekick Kato is the real hero, inventing crazy gadgets and performing over the top stunts.
Definitely cheesy, with one liners and slapstick thrown around in abundance...you'll definitely laugh.
I liked it, but I'm not a fanboy so the change in tone doesn't bother me. If you're looking for something different, with plenty of action and lots of laughs, this movie is for you.
I ranked it above Tron Legacy if that tells you anything.
Number 2 for the year so far.

-wasting his potential

2011 Movie Reviews

2011-02-25T13:36:00.009-06:00

You know the drill...

1. True Grit
2. Hanna
3. The Green Hornet
4. Tron Legacy
5. Sucker Punch
6. Battle: Los Angeles
7. Rango
8. Gnomeo and Juliet

*meh*

9. Your Highness
10. The Eagle

-wish he knew how to quit you

50 hours extra

2011-02-24T14:39:00.000-06:00

Man...I was posting every day there for a short while then it all just stopped.
Probably has something to do with the 50 hours of overtime I've worked in the past two weeks.
Could be...just maybe.

But I've seen the light, and I'm pretty certain I'm leaving sooner rather than later. I was going to wait for a designer position...but now...meh...I think I'm just going to go over to CAL. The pay looks like the same, the flight benefits are better, and I'll have far less responsibility.
The only downside is that I'll lose seniority so I'll have to take whatever the give me for shifts and days off. Ahh well. I'll make do.
My resume will be sent over just as soon as they post a new position.

That's all for now, the next few days will be rest and relaxation. I'm going to build a kite, and maybe shoot that rocket that I finished building back in November...damn...has it been that long?
A little scary.

Anyway, hopefully I'll manage some time to post a few movie reviews and bang out a couple other things that have been bouncing about my head. We'll see.

-not to be disparaged

galldang rickafrazerwitz

2011-02-11T01:12:00.000-06:00

I worked late one night last week.
And I should remember what night, given the traumatic events that eventually occured, but maybe that's my brain trying to save me from the scars.
Yes...let's go with that.

I've had a long stressfull day. Work was crappy busy, crews were angry, there was yelling and blame was thrown around. I'm pretty sure someone told me it was my fault that their marriage was falling apart.

THAT kind of day.

But I'm home now.
Safe.
The Sis is awake at this ungodly hour because I don't know why...but it's super nice to see her. She's like a happy little sunshine, makes me feel more relaxed and chill to be home.
Yay for sisters.
You can see how things are looking up.
A quiet drive home, the cat actually meets me at the door to say hello and get a head scratch. It's 1am but the sister is sitting on the couch with a smile and a joke. I'm deflating, coming down...life really isn't all that shabby. Put the groceries on the kitchen counter and grab the backpack as I hike up the stairs. Quietly walk down the hall to my bedroom so as not to wake anyone else in the house. Dropping the backpack on the bed, I feel something tickle the back of my neck just under the collar. So I reach up to figure out what it is
BAM! BAM!
"Ouch! OMG Ouch Fuck Fuck!"
Sharp stabbing pain in my neck like I'm on fire.
Run down the hall..."Are you kidding me?!"
Sis is calling up "You okay?"
"That fucking hurts! Fuck! Shit! God Damnit!"
"Seriously...you okay?
"Shit! I'm okay. Something bit me."

Going back into the room I look on the bed. Whatever it was, I'd managed to grab it and throw it off my neck onto the bed just before launching myself down the hallway. My neck is throbbing...and there it is...a fucking hornet. Man I hate wasps and hornets.
Bees are okay by me...they make honey and I love that stuff.
But wasps and hornets?
They like to sting people...me specificially...in my bedroom, at 1am.
Honestly what the hell?

I went down stairs, the sis suggested that I soak a teabag and put it on the two, that's right TWO damned stings that I had on the back of my neck.
It kinda worked to take some of the pain away, though that may have been all mental.
I didn't eat dinner that night, but I will say that two Benadryl and a bottle of Fat Tire will help a man find a full night of deep slumber.

-apparent target

True Grit

2011-02-10T00:48:00.001-06:00

True Grit

Directed - The Coen Brothers
Written - Charles Portis

Starring - Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, and Hailee Steinfeld

True Grit stays true to its roots.
I haven't seen the John Wayne version all the way through. Okay, that's a shame and something I should fix, I know...but from what I've seen of the two, the new movie deviates very little from the original telling.
Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper...all well done. I'll even say to look out for the young girl from the film...Hailee Steinfeld. We expect excellent work from the other names on that list, but she was no slouch.
Also, I love the dialogue in this film. In fact, I may just go get the book.
It's a well done retelling of a classic John Wayne western. You'll get exactly what you expect from that sort of description and I'd be shocked if you were unhappy with the results. I certainly wasn't.
Go see it, it's number 1 on my list so far this year.

-a saucy line

Tron Legacy

2011-02-09T00:22:00.004-06:00

Tron Legacy

Director - Joseph Kosinski
Writer - Edward Kitsis

Starring - Jeff Bridges and Olivia Wilde

Jack of all trades, master of none, this is the story of Tron Legacy.
It's a sci-fi, action, adventure, redemption, messiah, family, epic, love story.
By trying so hard to please everyone, I think they only managed to midly entertain most of the audience. Only the fanboys were really overjoyed.

Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie.
The 3D is beautiful, and the trick they played between the real world and cyberspace was well done. But still...meh.
The movie starts out strong, tries to make a dramatic point, and then ends with a great big pop.
Pop.
You would think bang...but it turned out to be a cork gun instead of a howitzer.
Go figure.

Again, I liked it but wanted more. They should have focused on one aspect, left some details out entirely or pushed them farther.
Anyway, worth seeing, and will end up number 3 on the list. But only because I had a ton of fun with one of the other movies. They are kind of a tie.
You'll see.

-he's different

crazy work

2011-02-08T00:22:00.001-06:00

Work has been crazy insane since that last post. What with snow storms all across the eastern half of the country and good old Houston deciding to have an ice storm over the weekend.
Then a coworker...the grumpy old man (I love that guy, totally a term of endearment), he was rushed to hospital and now I'm covering his shift.
The early pain in the ass I hate everyone shift.
No wonder he was so grumpy huh?

He's stable, so that's good. Which reminds me that I really need to call hotflashin' and let her in on the news.
/making call way too late at night...
Right, anyway, message left.

So yes, he is okay for the moment and they are running tests to find out exactly what is wrong so they can fix him properly.

Yesterday I was awake for 27 hours. That's like super awesome right?
Riiiiiiiiiiight.
I switched shifts to cover for the old man, which meant leaving a night shift and coming back for a morning shift. Only I wasn't able to fall asleep in between. So yeah.

Anyway, I'm tired, and grumpy, but making good money. That is all for now.

-a few apples short

how do you hack it

2011-02-02T19:17:00.000-06:00

It's amazing what pressure and stress will do to a person and how they will handle it.

I've got a minion who apparently sat in her car and cried for a good ten minutes before walking in the door today. But I mean, her purse was stolen this weekend along with her house and car keys and like 600 dollars in cash. On top of that we are in the middle of the perfect storm of weather issues for the travel industry.
I'd hate to be trying to get anywhere in the US this week. Much better to stay home.
I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, yeah...she had that cry, and now her attitude on the floor in the middle of all this craziness and all of the crazy coworkers has been fantastic. She's totally risen to the occasion.

I actually said that in my interview...that I perform better under stress, not that I enjoy it, just that...well...when shit goes bad, that's when my A game comes on. I don't know. I step up and take control.
Like I was built for adversity.
Good thing I guess given my current job status.

Alright, back to work.

-shopping cart hero

come again?

2011-02-01T21:36:00.000-06:00

Having someone confess to you that they are occasionally abusive to their significant other is pretty freaking surreal.
It's nice to know they are aware of it, and that they are trying to control it...but...yeah.

Perhaps what is more surreal is that it was such a natural segway in the conversation we were already having.
Meh. The conversation was ended far before it should have by our arrival at our destination. I know that they are already seeing a professional to deal with these issues, so I feel like they are getting help.

In better news, I have enough things bouncing around my head for like 9 entries...just have to write them.
I'll get on it soon.
Promise.

-turning stones

perhaps i was wrong

2011-01-14T15:51:00.001-06:00

Just after christmas I wrote this post about how commercialism has ruined christmas and how it is so difficult to garner enthusiasm when we're already surrounded by so much...well...STUFF.

Today I saw this and it warmed my heart.
Quick warning, there are cusswords...he's just THAT happy.

-santa's grumpy elf

break time

2011-01-10T20:26:00.000-06:00

Work is crazy...like really crazy.
I need a break.

So please allow me to take a moment and spill some things as a diversionary tactic.

After thinking about it, I think that a lot of the reason I haven't been posting all that much is that I tend to write about my relationships when i'm here. In this case, that equates to talking about SweetD, and I'm afraid that if I work out all of my issues there the final answer will be a break up.
You know...because once I've come to that conclusion here I can't really ignore it. I guess I could...but that's just not how I work. Once it becomes clear, like solidly clear...then I just can't put it away until I've fixed it.
Mostly anyway.
Meh.
So yeah...I'd say that a major lack of posts has been my unwillingness to really explore that situation for fear that I'll come to the solid conclusion that it just needs to be over.
Maybe I'll come to that conclusion after all...but then maybe that means it needs to be over.
I don't know. Maybe it'll all work out anyway? Eh...we'll see.
For now...it's back to work.

-livin' on love

shopping for zombies

2011-01-09T15:38:00.000-06:00

The weekend was good.
A night out with friends where it was confirmed that, should there be an actual zombie apocolypse...they will all hunt me down and ask for my help in rebuilding the world. Being a nerd that loves to make things has resulted in my own zombie protection team. Woot!

Next day I went out and spent my christmas money. A few books...Cod by Mark Kurlansky, and World War Z by Max Brooks. Cod because Hotflashin lent me Salt a little over a year ago and I loved it. World War Z because...well...Zombies! heh
Then I grabbed a new shirt from Banana Republic. I love that store as much as any straight man can possibly love a clothing store.
Right...moving on...

The cleanse is currently on day 7. Looks like I've lost a little over 10 pounds. The main thing though, is that I currently have no desire to go back to fast food or other items that are horribly unhealthy.
I'll still eat bacon though.
But yeah, looks like my habits have truly been reset. I just have to keep this mindset and see it through.
Oh, and I've learned that I can talk about food, watch tv shows about food, research recipes...all no issue even on this fast.
But smell it? Oh hells no.
That is a problem.
If I see or smell food my instincts take over from the brain and make a strong push to overcome my willpower.
So I've been avoiding any sort of meal. Which just makes sense really, so no one is giving me too hard a time about it. Though both the sister and SweetD have made me promise to start eating again soon. So tomorrow I'll start yogurt and in a day or two will come applesauce and bananas and whatnot. Week 2 will finish out with broths and soups.

Back to the weekend. I spent last night playing Rockband 3 with Hotflashin and her husband.
Good times.
I miss them.
Must make time for more quality...er...time.
Yes.

-in case of zombies...follow me

Megamind

2011-01-04T13:00:00.003-06:00

Megamind

Director - Tom McGrath
Writer - Alan J. Schoolcraft

Starring - Will Ferrell, Jonah Hill, and Brad Pitt

This is your classic superman vs supervillian movie, with a decent sized twist. I liked Megamind. The boy and I saw this in 3D at the theatre in Carrickfergus. There were very little of the crazy 3D gimmicks. I think the film companies are laying off of that a bit more.
Just give me decent 3D. There's no need to throw anything directly at my face.
Thank you very much.
Yes, anyway...classic setup with a very good twist. The one liners are excellent and the voice acting is well done. This is a fantastic movie for a little kid. The boy is 9 now and his trip with me was his second viewing. He insisted on this movie too so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he gives it a thumbs up.
This was a very good movie for the little ones while still managing to thoroughly entertain the adults.
Well, this adult was entertained.

There's an interesting idea put forth in the idea that when we fight for, or against, something for most of our lives...well...what do we do when that adversarial relationship is gone?
I liked it. Even ranked it #5 for the year, putting it just a tiny smidge under Harry Potter DH.
I don't think you'll be disappointed at all. Go see it.
Or rent it maybe...this review is somewhat late.
Meh.
It also closes out 2010.

Tron is next on the list, and will be a sturdy #1 for 2011. But well...yes...just one movie for now so there you go.

-the black sheep

Wish you were here

2011-01-03T18:33:00.000-06:00

I was reading the blog of a friend earlier today and was struck by how poignant her words are. How they make me feel as if we are sitting across a table enjoying a drink together.

And I miss that.

The ability to write as if you are here I mean.

It was something I actually had a knack for at one time. Back when the words here and elsewhere were rarely censored or thought out.

Before this process became such an obsession.

In the pursuit of finding that elusive moment in all of these syllables, of connecting in some profound way, I’ve focused on adjectives and nouns to the detriment of their meaning. Causing the loss of those thoughts they were actually meant to convey.

It took reading the words of a far better writer to remind me of what I’m actually good at.

Just being me.

For now, thank you for this brief bit of clarity.

Perhaps with this insight I can get back on track.

Only time will tell.

-one hit wonder

Happy 2011

2011-01-02T17:14:00.000-06:00

Holy hell I was hung over yesterday.

Also, I am not very healthy at the moment. There is some serious belly fat threatening to spoil my graceful figure. heh
Not really a laughing matter. Things must change and with a quickness. Apparently I'm going on a fast tomorrow. I know...not the healthiest choice...but I convinced a scheduler to do it with me last year when I was just experimenting with my food and whatnot. She bailed on me 2 days in. Well now she's doing it again and has asked me to join her for support. I figure I need to knock my current bad habits completely out of whack.
A reset, if you will.
Fasting will totally do that. So yes. A fast...then the gym like it's going out of style, as well as some sort of strict regimen foodwise for...ehh...2 weeks. Then I'll relax a bit and have more fun with my food choices.
The hope here, and it has proved itself in the past, is that by destroying all bad habits for a few weeks, I can start again and build good ones.
I'll update you folks as I go.

Oh...and Happy New Year! 2011! Woooo!
I had a ton of fun. Hope you all did too.
I'm out...back tomorrow methinks...we'll see.

-just a little crazy

Harry Potter DH 1

2011-01-02T17:00:00.001-06:00

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 1

Director - David Yates
Writter - J.K. Rowling
Starring - Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint

You should probably just read this...I agree with him mostly, though I'd say that I didn't find the book dull at all. I think the director did the best he could with the subject matter...but it's just so slow in the middle of the movie while they camp around the countryside.

Still a decent movie though. It wasn't so boring or slow that I fell asleep or wanted to walk out. More like a comeoncanwegetonwithit kind of boring.

Anyway, it came in at #4 for me for 2010. Closely tied with Megamind which the boy and I saw the week after. I'll review that one next. Then Tron.
Expect updates every few days for a bit. I'm working on it.

-not a witch

Commercialism has ruined Christmas.

2010-12-29T22:30:00.000-06:00

No really...it has.
Not in the sense that it begins right after Thanksgiving, or that Santa is plastered over everything, or…well…any other crazy number of things.

It’s just…all of this stuff, these things we own.
Think about it for a second…the sheer volume of electronic gadgets, cooking tools, plates, utensils, tv’s, cars, clothes, books, toys, thingamabobs…
Ninety nine percent of the population is jaded toward ownership. How can we not be given the way that we are trained to consume from the time we are born?

So you get a new shirt, and it’s cool and all…but you’ve got 15 very similar to it sitting in the closet. So…eh…thanks?

I worked so hard this year to cultivate enthusiasm both as a giver, and receiver of things.
It also dawned on me that part of the reason I’ve been such a Grinch for the past few years is that I haven’t been able to give the kind of gifts that I really wanted to.
Not that I was able to do that this year either…but I put some serious thought into it and came up with some goodies. I’m happy with my choices and how they all turned out.
Yay!

Seriously though…my original point…
Imagine that it’s December 25th, 1860, and you just got a new pair of boots for Christmas.
You aren’t going to bitch about the color or style, you aren’t going to complain that it isn’t the kind of leather you wanted…
No, because you only own one damned pair of boots and those are starting to fall apart. You only have 2 sets of clothes…maybe 3…and your bedroom contains half a dozen books (if you’re lucky enough to know how to read) as well as a hobby horse and a cork gun made of wood.
So those boots are almost a miracle.
Can you imagine how your face would light up? How crazy happy you would be running downstairs and seeing the 2 or 3 gifts with your name on them under the tree?

I wish we could have that back. A statement which probably makes me about 100 years old. But it’s so true in my heart.

I want that simpler happier life when gifts were truly gifts and nothing was ever returned.

-a simple man

no such luck

2010-11-23T18:59:00.000-06:00

This last weekend was pretty decent. Thursday morning I woke early to accompany SweetD on her apartment search. She's moving out. I don't think I mentioned that, but yes...
She has decided that she just can't handle roomates. Says she likes my sister and her boyfriend, but just can't handle living with anyone anymore. At the same time...she'd love it if I moved in with her.
Right.
And I'm just not sure how I feel about it. I'm waiting until she's gone...to see if I'm relieved and happy for the space or if I miss her terribly and just want to spend all of my time with her. If I'm honest, and I usually am...painfully so, I think I'll be more on the side of relief than disappointment and sadness. We'll see.

Anyway, so yes...apartment shopping. Then a quiet day at home brewing cider and whatnot. Friday night we went to see Harry Potter. Good stuff, go see it, worth the money, yada yada. I may review it...but eh...yeah...I guess I should. I'm hoping to make that a regular feature of the blog so it's gotta be there.
Sorry, look for a review soon.
Then on Saturday SweetD and I headed to Magnolia Texas to enjoy the Texas Renaissance Festival. She'd never been to a Renfest that she could remember so it was a new experience for her. We were there about 5 hours, walked around...saw Dead Bob, and the Mud Show. It was fun, plus I got to wear my horns so that's always a bonus. heh

Then sunday...back to work. I'd say yay...but not.

Oh...almost forgot...there was some drama revolving my personal feelings towards matrimony and her persistance regarding the desire to be betrothed. Mild drama really. Like I pissed her off a smidge and politely told her she'd have to deal.
meh.
I don't want her to be unhappy. I thought she was okay with the idea of not getting married...but the more we talk about it, the more it seems she was hoping that she could change my mind.
I don't even know what to say to that. I keep starting sentences and then stopping. Meh.
Other than that, life is most excellent. Hope yours is too.

- i gotta be me

things completed

2010-11-21T17:19:00.000-06:00

I've been watching Victorian Farm on Youtube for the past few days. Good stuff. I had caught an episode on one of my visits to the boy, but didn't realize someone had been kind enough to post the whole series online.
The lovely Jenna at Cold Antler Farm mentioned it in one of her posts though and I had to check it out.
Between that and a new show on History...Apocolypse PA, it dawned on me that we don't make much ourselves anymore. I mean honestly...vegetables, meat, honey, butter, cheese. Heat, light...hell even many of our meals are prepared by others. Everyone is so specialized that if there were suddenly a crazy apocolypse and all modern machines ceased working, I'd be willing to bet that most 3rd world nations would be fine but 90% of the modern world would be shit out of luck.
Look, I get that in our current society, with the lives we lead, most of us just don't have time to make bread or butter or cheese. Hell...I love some Jarlsberg or smoked Gouda and I'm not gonna lie...I'm not nearly as talented as the people who do this for a living. Still, I know how, so I can provide for myself and my family and friends.
Also, we're all so busy...watching tv and generally being lazy bastards. If we spent just an hour less on the tv every night we'd have time for most of these projects. If nothing else...at least we'd know how.

As for yours truly, my soap is decent, but it needs more lather. I'll write the entry and show the pictures shortly. The rocket is ready to go with a nice new launch rod and I think we'll be doing that at the Woodlands' Football Stadium parking lot this next weekend. Actually, now that I think about it, Thanksgiving might be an appropriate time for launching rockets and whatnot. Hmm...
Anyway, I'll write something on that too sometime in the next few weeks.
Then there's the Cider that I started two days ago. Two one gallon carboys are currently bubbling away in my garage. I'll buy two more next week.
Oh, and I need to work on a new soap recipe because because I have plenty of bacon fat sitting in the fridge waiting to be used.
Projects galore.
Still, I'm looking forward to more. What would you kids like to see me make? Any suggestions?

-a force for good

a weird sort of kindness

2010-11-17T11:41:00.000-06:00

"Some people are kind enough to spend their lives making sure no one will be sad at their funeral by alienating those who might love and cry for them."

Love that line.
Not because I want to do it, but because it's just the sort of dark humor that I get.
Also, loving someone is sometimes painful. It's probably safe to say that loving someone is always painful at one point or another. Some people are more painful than others.

Right, happy thoughts yes?

Oh, and if you'd like to see that line in its original context...clicky clicky.

-keepin' it real

call me jack

2010-11-15T12:42:00.002-06:00

This!

Man, I read that and it just...yeah...it so matches the path I've been on for the past few years. I mean...her blog in general matches much of what I'd like to do, but that post specifically grabs hold of the idea that we should just get out and DO things. Looking in the comments I found another GEM as well. Go ahead and click it, it's about the cult of DONE. I like it, you should too.
There's a book too...but it's at home and I don't have the title...I'll come back and edit this to add that info.

That's all I've got. I really need to write up the cheese and the rocket and the papercraft, as well as make more cheese and get on the cider and beer kick now that it's cooling down. Also...possibly mushrooms. I'd like to grow them too, we'll see.

-jack of all trades

heebie jeebies

2010-11-04T04:31:00.000-05:00

I hit work on Halloween day wearing a pair of horns. The jokes were plenty. But hey...I like my horns.
Also...I wasn't about to get all crazy dolled up for work. Not happening.
Though....funny enough, outside of work I would have loved to play dress up. Go figure.

Anyway, the next day was no bueno. I didn't sleep at all due to a headache so I called out.
I've been out all week. Also...I apparently have vacation next week.
Hew knew?
Not I.

Oh, and if my typing is poor I apologize, I'm doing this at 4am without a pair of glasses, so I'm pretty much doing it by feel and then just hoping that it comes out correctly because I can't actually see the words unless I squint my eyes and get right up on top of the computer screen.
Heh, right up on top of...you're dirty.
Me too.

But yes, so typos galore, now you know.

Also, I saw Paranormal Activity 2 last week with Rooms and her husband. Let me tell you...creepy mccreeperson. Holy crap. No lying.
A week later and I still get a little bit of the heeby jeebies when the lights go out. No joke.

So yes...4am and I'm awake with a cough wishing that I felt better and that I wasn't afraid of the dark. While I type this without glasses in a adark bedroom.
Right.
At least I won't actually be able to see the evil demon when he comes to get me.
blblblblbl....heebie jeebies I tell you.

Hope you're all doing well. I'm out.

-midnight writer

weekend update

2010-10-26T19:31:00.004-05:00

Friday night was a dinner party here in the Woodlands followed by boys night out downtown. We hit Big Top and had a few drinks.
Stories were told.
"in the hall?!" heh

Anyway, yes...and it was decided that once a year we should have a no holds barred bachanal. The sort of suare(sp?) where you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are going to get wastedface. Because...well...that's the reason for this party. One time a year when everyone can say screw it and really truly let loose. Plans are still murky though, so we'll have to see.

Saturday morning we woke up earlier than normal and headed to Austin to play with Monkey and some of her friends. Good times.
Good times.
I'm not telling all of my secrets but please, let's all agree that when someone of the opposite sex is very obviously attracted to you...it feels damned good.
Yes it does.

Also, I love hanging out with Monkey and her husband is a pretty cool cat too. I'm looking forward to seeing them again.

Then the sis and I drove home late at night, had a run-in with a pair of punks, and yours truly wanted ohsoverymuch to just pull over and beat the everloving daylights out of both of them.
The sister wouldn't let me...said I needed to just keep going...that we had no idea if they had a gun or knives or other such weapons.
I let her win the argument.
Lets be honest...if I insisted and she turned out to be right...I'd be dead or in a hospital...I don't like that kind of risk/reward system. It is no bueno.
Also, I've been saying that a lot lately.
No bueno.
It's fun...but then not so much...because..well...I wouldn't say it for a good thing right?
Right.

Oh...and SweetD's car blew up. Not literally. But yes...blew up. Almost 2grand to fix.
No bueno.
See what I mean?

But life is good otherwise. I very much enjoyed the trip to see Monkey and crew, boys night out was tons of fun, and I even had time for a movie this week.
Expect something on soap, a rocket update, and possible cider brewing soon.

Yay for making and doing! Woot!

-livin' la vida loca

RED

2010-10-26T18:58:00.001-05:00

RED

Director: Robert Schwentke
Writers: Jon and Erich Hoeber

Starring: Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, as well as Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, and Richard Dreyfuss.
Look...it's an allstar cast beyond a shadow of a doubt. That alone is reason enough to recommend this movie.

Based on the D.C. Comic of the same name, this movie is about ex CIA operatives who have been tagged RED. That is to say they are Retired, Extremely Dangerous.
So the film centers around a group of folks who are probably in their 60s, have retired, and are living nice quiet boring lives.
At least until someone else decides that our heroes know too much and feels they should be whacked.
Then hilarity ensues.

That's the part I wasn't expecting...the hilarity. Because John Malkovich is brilliant (as always really but call me a fan boy) and because the plot lends itself to whacky moments. Not too crazy over the top when is this movie going to be over...but laugh out loud, that's funny, ooh what's next kind of gags. This is good stuff. I would never have expected a spy action comedy to be so entertaining but I stand corrected.
If nothing else, go see Malkovich pout with a stuffed pig, or because Mary-Louise Parker is cute as all hell as she rants about her bad date.
Good stuff.

Oh, and a distinct lack of gore. Sure...people die...but they handled that more disney...with a light sprinkling of blood and an absence of the attrocities you expect to see in Rambo or a war film.

I'm ranking it number 3 for the year. That is still high enough that I'd go see it again.

-Old man my ass!

running through my mind

2010-10-21T11:36:00.001-05:00

I think alot.
Alot alot.
And that's okay. I'm good with that.

There's an argument to be made that the brain is more powerful when we exercise it. Something that this man agrees with wholeheartedly.
Yet...exercise in this case requires a problem or process that must be sorted, fixed, or overcome.
Too often this is not the sort of thing that is running through my head.
Especially lately.

Have you ever noticed that when your brain gets moving on a painful or negative subject...that you just can't get off of it?
It's like a scab. The brain just picks and picks and picks at it...keeping that wound open and causing it to bleed all in the head till it consumes most of our thoughts.
Okay...my thoughts.
Which is one reason that I like difficult, hi stress, focused jobs. It requires the brain to focus on the task at hand.
In fact, that's probably why I'm enjoying all of the projects so much more now and trying to focus on them.

There's a group of thought that by focusing on the moment, actively recognizing that I'm sitting at a computer in the office, my back to the window, with a bit of airconditioning blowing down as I type on these keys...
That focusing on this moment I can kill the repetative negative train of thought. That I can, in fact, train my brain to be more focused when needed, and to perhaps go a bit quiet when not needed.
Peace and quiet would be nice right about now...because this constant motion is just too much.

Meh.

-noisy on the inside

The Social Network

2010-10-19T18:42:00.001-05:00

The Social Network

Director - David Fincher
Writer - Aaron Sorkin

Starring - Jesse Eisenberg

Based on the legal drama surrounding Facebook this movie actually shines.
A movie about a social network shows precisely how messed up a network can become and how quickly things can go horribly wrong. Well...if you aren't careful about how you treat your friends and whom you choose to surround yourself with.

Jesse Eisenberg does a fantastic job of getting you to hate him and feel sorry for him at the same time.

Also...and it pains me to say this...but Justin Timberlake has a short appearance and he didn't suck in the slightest. I don't know where he's taking lessons but his teacher is apparently amazing.

Keep in mind that I hadn't seen a movie in what feels like forever...but I really enjoyed this movie. I like watching the interplay of people.
Good stuff.

Go see it at the theatre, I strongly doubt that you'll be disappointed. I'm ranking it #2 for the year. Okay...that's just out of 4 for now...but still.

-written in ink

what now?

2010-10-19T18:19:00.000-05:00

I was totally going to the gym on a regular basis for a while there.
Read that as "at least twice a week"...but then it seems everything crashed and I stopped. It is my humble opinion that the lack of exercise and my increased lack of intelligent food choices has only added to the downward spiral.
So umm, yes...must fix...back to gym...quickly now.

Right.

Did I mention that I actually made soap a few weeks ago? I believe I did. I'll buy wax paper tonight and wrap it up. Perhaps a few pictures will make it in here along with my basic recipe. I'd like to start showing some of my projects so that other folks can learn from my mistakes and maybe be inspired to go DO something instead of freaking out that they'll screw it up.
Just go screw it up...you'll still have fun.
I promise.

Also, the rocket will be ready soon. It's built, just needs a pretty coat of paint and possibly a decal or two. Then she'll be ready to fly. Definitely pics of that project as well.

Still not on an up slope...but working on it one day at a time.

-this too shall pass

spiral

2010-10-12T14:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday just continued on it's downward spiral.
Someone that I've worked with for the past 6 years, whom I looked up to and respected, passed away yesterday afternoon.
The funeral is Friday.

I'm okay, a little shaken due to circumstances and how some of the folks around here are dealing with it, but okay nonetheless.

Expect the rest of the week to be a downer. I'll start fresh and happy on Saturday.
'least...that's the plan.

-singing the blues

Hits

2010-10-11T10:38:00.001-05:00

There was a conversation last night regarding driving stories, particularly hitting things.
And there's a story there, of the time I hit something and it immediately and drastically altered my mood.
Strange how something so rare can either cause your day to immediately go downhill...or simply further cement the foul mood you were already fostering.

Today something hit me.
By "something" I mean a six or eight inch section of 4x4 that was launched by the vehicle in front of me. The soccer mom in the mini van who apparently didn't realize that she should have swerved around it rather than drive over it.
My mood was already poorly. Now it's particularly foul.

@#$%^!!!

-grumpy old man

On night fires and golf tournaments

2010-10-10T21:28:00.000-05:00

Wednesday night I headed over to Humble to hang with Converse and friends. She sent the invite out to a dozen or so people, my expectation was a bonfire and craziness.
However, when I pulled up to the house, what I found was a quiet fire in the backyard with two folks hanging out. Just Converse and her man were left.
Here's the thing...though the night was nothing like I'd expected it to be, I'd tell you that it was far better. The conversation was stellar, the two of them are fantastic, and I missed Converse. We talked about the phone call a few months ago when she asked me for pointers on making jam, then her man and I discussed this long distance parenting thing I'm doing, and how...while it is painful and seems hopeless...it is such a good thing.
This coming from a bit of a personal perspective on his part, so it was very good to hear.
Oh, and the jam conversation...methinks that Converse and I will do a group jam session at her house. That sounds like music but is actually cooking.
The fire was awesome, so were the smores, and the conversation was delicious.
The only down side was that I missed Barista by like forty five minutes. Oh well...as she put it, we live in the same town, we'll have other opportunities.

Friday was the company golf tournament.
Man, golf is okay, it's kinda fun and not too shabby. But golf tournaments sponsored by companies and whatnot?
Just do it.
Four of us met up, drank alchohol, smoked cigars, cracked jokes, lots of homoerotic ball references, plenty of flirting with beer cart girls...sooo much fun.
I also won a $25 gift certificate and a $50 nike golf shirt. My entrance fee to the tournament was $75. Plus, all of the money goes to the company scholarship fund, so I'm helping someone get an education.
Good times.

Heh...oh, and about halfway through the day I met Barista's mom for the first time ever. Lining up to take a shot I heard my name from behind. After the shot I turned around and saw a cart with two ladies in it...one I recognized as having used to work here at headquarters...and I knew that she was friends with Barista's mom. Sure enough...I walk over and get introduced. Then she poured me a shot of tequila.
The universe is so random sometimes.

Yesterday I changed the oil on the car, then SweetD and I headed to Chi Sushi here in The Woodlands. After that, tailgaters with friends. Good times.

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend.

-playing through

just let go

2010-10-06T16:41:00.000-05:00

It's not that I'm ignoring the obvious connection. Or that I'm unaware of the crazy chemistry. I've forgiven you for all of the crazy bullshit that happened, I'm just unwilling to forget.
I've made the conscious decision that no amount of connection or chemistry is worth what comes with it in this case.
That might not be true if I hadn't been lucky enough to meet other equally amazing women who treated me with respect and love not because that's what you're supposed to do...but because that's just who they are.
I've experienced the connection and chemistry in other places and know that I don't have to put up with crazy in order to have that kind of awesome.

So umm...yeah.

-sticking it to ya

Creativity

2010-10-04T15:04:00.000-05:00

I subscribe to the gapingvoid email list. He sends a picture plus a thought every day. Not everything he sends is awesome, but he has a knack for striking a chord...for making me think.
I like that.

Anyway, here's an exerpt from the email today:
Whether we're artists, corporate managers, accountants or whatever, we all want to create; and we want to do it in a purposeful and meaningful way.
I learned the hard way that, as agreeable an idea "Creativity for its own sake" is, it's not particularly sustainable, financially rewarding or emotionally satisfying over the long run.
Human beings are hardwired to embrace "Creativity With Purpose"- i.e.create stuff that actually has real value to ourselves and other people. Creativity is tied into our evolution as a species and our basic survival instinct. It's there for a reason.

I have no doubt that this is why I enjoy doing many of the things I do.
Take, for instance, the soap I made on Saturday night.
That's right...soap.
To be honest, I'm not too hopeful that it'll be good stuff. But I've already learned from the process and I've already figured two things I can do to make for a better batch.
1. Boil the fat to clean it...this is called making "sweet lard" as opposed to that normal lard that comes on your bacon.
2. no more lining if I'm using cardboard or peel away boxes...it just gets in the way.

I got off on a soap tangent there, excuse me
The thing here...is that creativity is in my bones.
I'm much happier...in fact I'd argue that we are all much happier, when we are making and creating. But most of us have been brought up to think that failure isn't an option, so we are paralyzed by the fear of it. Paralyzed to such an extent that many of us never even start.
A friend asked how I learned to make my own bread. She was interested in doing it herself but wasn't sure how to go about it. When my explanation was that I looked it up online then just did it, her first response said everything "But what if you mess up?"
Right...good question.
What if I screwed it up, failed, bit it, took a complete nosedive...
I guess if I did that, then I'd have a manky bit of dough and would've wasted a whole 75¢ on materials. Also, I'd have a horrible black stain on my baking record.
My actual answer to her..."Do over, start again. Who cares if you mess up? It's cheap and easy and fun. Just try it."
Because here's the thing...when you're in the kitchen making bread, or well...whatever you're making...no one really cares if you screw up.
Well...as long as you don't actually burn the house down.
But yes.
At the end of the day, if you learn from it, that only means the next experience will be much better. And it's those successes...even the small ones...that everyone will remember.

Also...soap.

-maker

motivation

2010-10-01T23:15:00.000-05:00

It's difficult to muster motivation at the office lately.
You see...sometime not too long after June of 2011, I will no longer work for the company.
I say that, I guess there are always alternative possibilities, but they are moving, and I don't plan on going with them.
So yeah...no job in 9 months.

But that's nine months from now. In the meantime I just keep reminding myself that I'm proud of my work and that I'd like to leave here knowing that I did my absolute best all the way to my last day here.
Then sometimes...yeah...it's difficult muster that motivation.
That's a fantastic phrase...muster motivation.
Heh.

Anyway, yes...motivation...I've found it in so many other places lately. There's a half built rocket sitting on my coffee table waiting patiently for me to finish...it'll be done and skybound sometime in the next 10 days or so. My lovely car had work done to it, and I'll crawl underneath to change the oil this weekend.
I have just about everything I need to make soap at home.
It's also time to do cider again...and beer. Mmmmm beer.
Then Hotflashing and I had discussed the possibility of her and the little one helping me make another batch of cheese. Apparently the little one thought my last batch was the best stuff ever. Woot.
So yes...more cheese.

I've been reading the foxfire books, and researching home building techniques online. I want this offgrid life. Perhaps this is my opportunity.
I'm mostly dreaming wildly and having fun with all of the learning and doing. It probably won't actually happen, but it's been in the back of my mind so often lately...popping up and inspiring me.

For the past 6 months or so I've said over and over that true happiness would be waking up in a handbuilt house and teaching other people to make bread and butter and soap and wine and beer and cider, oh and cheese.
That would be pure joy.

It's a thought.

-hand built man

Come join me

2010-09-29T18:00:00.000-05:00

All dressed out and ready to jump. The funny little gang sign is a reference to where I planned to be just 20 minutes after this picture was taken...two miles up. It was a theme for the morning, an inside joke at one of our other friends.
Next time you should come, you can make a silly 2-up gang sign too.

freefall

2010-09-28T21:16:00.001-05:00

Imagine a point in the sky two miles high. Somewhere just above the clouds where the bright sun touches everything and there are no shadows. So far above everything we know on a daily basis, removed from the hustle and bustle. In the mind, this place we conjure up is quiet, it is hushed, it is brilliantly silent.
Soft clouds moving slowly below, occasionally breaking up the view of earth and it's manic occupants, everything up here moves at a different pace.

At least, that is the image that still plays back when I try to imagine a spot so high and far removed from this office I now sit in.
But that image shares a spot right next to a reality that I enjoyed this last weekend, a real world experience that was out of this world. It is something that, two days later, I am just now coming down from.

You see...two days ago, on Saturday morning I jumped out of an airplane.

After a meager four hours of sleep, yours truly got up in the wee hours so he could drive to Rosharon Texas. It's an adult playground, a mini amusement park. It is so much fun.
And the story is long with lots of little jokes and comments, all of the sort that end with "you should have been there".

But the part I want to tell is where I wasn't nearly as scared as I thought I'd be. How the ride up was loud and windy and funny and exciting, everyone talking and laughing as we watched altimeters and glanced out of the windows. How that spot so high up, that I'd always imagined would be quiet and peaceful and still, wasn't any of those things at all. The time came to jump and my tandem partner and I slid down to the door...my knees hanging out into space as I looked into a world of bright blue and was blasted by wind whipping past and then...

Ready.
Set.
Go.

It got quiet, for one second my entire life was as hushed as a church while I slowly toppled end over end and the airplane slid out of view.
Then it was loud and windy with excitement and yelling and happiness and joy.
The rush is like nothing I've ever experienced.
I'm hooked.

-free as a bird

Detroit Rock City

2010-09-21T23:21:00.000-05:00

I spent the past weekend in Motor City.
The atmosphere there is definitely different from anything I know. Not in a bad way. Just different.
Though, I guess it's nice that I was even there long enough to realize that difference. Seems that so often travel is so short, or we are so secluded, that we don't get time to see those small things that set one place apart from another.

Anyway...yes...
Detroit.

There was a wedding. SweetD was a bridesmaid and I was asked to be her date. Our room was right next to the bride and groom. Honestly? I was not happy with that setup. Seemed a bit weird. But it worked out very well.
We arrived on thursday, headed to the hotel to change clothes, and then off to the rehearsal dinner. Pretty straightforward...this is where we began the drinking. The evening ended with your truly sharing a jacuzzi bathtub with four beautiful women. We were all drunk, and all fully clothed. It was pretty damned hilarious.
"I'm a beached whale!"
heh

Friday was the actual wedding. Girl got up early to drink mamosas and get all beautified and whatnot.
I went to The Henry Ford Museum instead. On the way, I stopped at Dearborn Itialian Bakery...good stuff. Not at all what I was expecting...because I was thinking more of a sit down type restaurant than a deli counter...but negating my preconceived notions...damned good food. Also, everyone in there was super nice and helpful. If you should ever be in the area I definitely recommend it.
The museum was great. I probably should have checked out the Greenfield Village instead of the inside section, but the skies were threatening to open up...and I didn't feel like walking in the rain. Still, I'd never been there, and even the meager 3 hours that I had available was totally worth the $15 admission.
Hopefully I'll get a chance to go back in spring.
The wedding was fun, the reception, better, and in general I had a fantastic weekend. Drank a few too many whiskey and cola's at the reception...but eh...maybe that's part of why I had so much fun. hehe

Saturday we flew back, managed to find time to hit Goose's Acre here in the Woodland's that afternoon, then to bed.
Fin'

-going to the concert

Vancouver Day 3

2010-09-20T19:27:00.000-05:00

Wake up late, walk to Nester's to grab a few breakfast items and then back to play video games with Mogivite.
Then a short walk to a festival downtown where we met the lovely redhead and saw the sights.

Mogivite and I tried to enjoy the hottub at his apartment...but it was more luke warm. It was broken a few days ago something something. I don't know...I didn't really care. So we hung out down there anyway and talked in the tepid water for a half hour or so.
Then it was off to enjoy Tapas at La Bodega.
All of the food was good, but the chorizo is what got me. It didn't have that killer heat that we have here in Texas with Mexican Chorizo...but the flavor was phenomenal. Definitely order the chorizo if you go there. Do it.

Anyway, as always, the company and conversation were both excellent. We had a great time and then walked back home. Due to flight changes I had to be on the train at about 0530 so it was decided that Mogivite and myself would stay up until 2ish playing video games and then I'd nap for a bit.
Right.

That was the plan.

Sometime between 0230 and 0300...I was yanked from a sound sleep by the loudest alarm clock I'd ever heard. The lovely redhead came out of the bedroom and I thought she was looking for her cellphone...until I became coherent enough to realize that the two of them were trying to suss the reason for the ruckus, and that the loud bonging noise was actually the fire alarm.
Mogivite lives on the twelfth floor of a 25 story building.
He also has an awesome cat.
So I found out that my jeans will actually fit OVER my pajamas...good stuff, and then we spent a few minutes wrangling the understandably freaked out cat into it's carrier.
Cat wrangling...heh
Then, at 0300, we walked down 12 flights of stairs so that we could go stand in the rain with all of the neighbors and find out what happened.
Which was this:
Someone was cooking or some such, there was a mistake of some sort, which necessitated the use of their fire extinguisher.
Good on them for having the fire extinguisher.
In fact, that's the only portion of the story that is definite...I heard different versions as to the reason it was needed...but yes...the fire extinguisher fulfilled its purpose and put out the fire.
Only the building's fire alarm is designed to recognize the use of a fire extinguisher and to call the fire department.
Also...to sound the alarm.
Good times.
After about ten minutes the firemen declared the building safe, and then we spent roughly twenty minutes trying to get back upstairs. Yeah, there were a couple hundred of us, and only two elevators. The stairs don't have floor access, one you go into them you can't get out except for at ground level.
So all of us had to use the elevators to get back upstairs to the apartments.

I did try to sleep...but after thirty minutes or so of tossing and turning it seemed pointless. So I just played video games for the next half hour until the lovely redhead's alarm went off and we all got up to walk to the train station.

I had such a gerat weekend. I enjoy them so much.
Go to Vancouver. Even if you don't know anyone, it's a beautiful city and a ton of fun. Totally worth the visit.

-cat wrangler

Vancouver Day 2

2010-09-16T18:00:00.002-05:00

Woke up midmorning and the 4 of us (myself, Mogivite, his bother E, and brother's wife A...yes, single letters for now, give me a break)...so yes, the 4 of us headed out for the Fraser Canyon. I had no clue what the plan was other than we'd be outdoors for the day. We did the 2 hour car trip complete with McDonald's stop, sadly too late for breakfast, as well as a lovely phonecall from babymama letting me know that our wonderful son had thrown a rock through a neighbors car window.
Good times.
I might tell that full story later. Maybe. Don't know. Suffice to say he is grounded and I'm a couple hundred poorer than I was prior to said rock blasting through said window.

Anyway, so we finally made our destination: Hell's Gate Airtram It runs down into the canyon where you get a good look at the salmon runs as well as the blasted rock and whatnot. There was a fisheries museum giving us a good idea of what happened in the area and how important it was that the salmon runs be fixed . "In all honesty" heh...I really enjoyed this part of the trip. Also, they have a fudge shop there and though I don't normally eat fudge...
This stuff is phenomenal!
Not even joking.
Phenomenal.

So yes, we saw the sights, learned some things, ate some fudge. As we were leaving everyone agreed that it was pretty cool but much smaller than we imagined. Which is funny because apparently none of those three had been there as kids and that's the common complaint when you see something as an adult that you also saw as a child right?
That it all seems much smaller?
But yeah...none of us had that prior experience. I'm thinking the word Airtram makes a person imagine a long trip up a mountain or something, and this (while very cool and interesting) was much shorter than what our minds had conjured up.

On the way back from the Airtram I convinced E to make a detour and we went hiking up to Alexandra Bridge I think his wife A got pics. Hopefully I'll get my hands on a few. We'll see.
I had a great time. E and his wife A are both great people that I would happily hang out with again. Maybe a trip to Phoenix before the end of the year. Woot!
Let's see...so that night, back at Mogivite's apartment, the lovely redhead made dinner and the two of us had a very good conversation waiting on him to come back from a meeting. He showed up with friends and there was some Wii to be had. Eventually we all hit the hay though, and Day 2 came to an end.

-in all honesty

Vancouver!!

2010-09-15T23:02:00.001-05:00

As usual, so much fun. The one major difference was the pace...we did a ton of stuff, but things just didn't feel as manic or non-stop as usual. The pace was much more mellow this time.

I'm going to try for a quick run through, let's see how that goes:

I caught the early flight thursday morning with no problems. Vancouver Airport has a pretty fantastic walkthrough from the gate to customs, complete with indoor waterfall and river combination. Let's be honest, I want a river in my house. It'd be super awesome.
Customs meant the usual 20 questions, but they forgot to ask if I was heading to the coffeehouse. heh
I don't think that story will ever get old.

Mogivite and his brother picked me up and the 3 of us headed to a local casino. We wasted a bit of time and I burned $60 at a blackjack table.
We split ways and headed back to Mogivite's apartment where we were soon joined by his lovely redhead. *We're just going to call her that for now, I'll find a good nickname later*
Anyway, hugs galore and she was off to make appetizers for the family dinner we were headed to later.

Honestly...her litte nephew plodding around in adult sized fuzzy ducky slippers...funniest thing ever. Not one person who saw him that night kept a straight face. It was fantastic.
So was dinner by the way.
The appetizers were a hit, and the rest of the dinner was fantastic.
Ooooh!
I forgot lunch. After the casino but before we split up, Mogivite and his brother took me to The SandBar. The view was spectacular, as was the salmon burger.

Anyway, I remembered that only because dinner included grilled salmon. Along with roast chicken, vegetables, warm green bean salad, regular salad, the salmon, and fresh ears of corn.
Plus, all of the amazing people who were there to share it with. Very good times.

After dinner Mogivite and myself headed over to his brother's to spend the night. Mogivite was banned from the house computer, and there was Rockband.

Finally, at around 1 or 2am we hit the hay. I walked upstairs, figured out which doorway led to my bedroom and which one led to an awkward situation with the lady of the house...and hit the hay.
I avoided the awkward situation, in case you were wondering.

That was Day 1. We're going to do installments.

-easy installation

Community

2010-09-11T18:00:00.003-05:00

What happened to everybody?
No really...
What.
Happened?

You see, this whole weblog phenomena that I'm happy to write about over and over again started for me back in the lovely year of 2002ish...I believe. I'll have to check and then come back at some point to edit that number.

So yes...I've been doing this for a while.
But when these words first left my lovely brain and hit the net it was part of a community of bloggers. A group of people who had easy access to eachother.
That's something I miss.
I want that long list of possible good reads, and not necessarily all professionaly written daily updated topic specific blogs either.
Just good intelligent people with varying ideas and viewpoints sitting down and talking about what they had for lunch or that asshole who cut them off in traffic.

Perhaps what we need is a new list of some sort...a new community.
Perhaps I just need to find a decent blogroll.

Along that vein, why don't you all say hello. All three of you who read here on a regular basis sure, but especially those few of you who lurk and have never commented. Take a second to say hello and introduce yourself. It'd be nice to know who you are. Plus, if you write on your own...maybe I'll go peruse your mental ramblings and have some fun while I'm at it. You never know.
You just never know.
So say hello.
Go now.
Do it.
Click the button.

Thank you.
At any rate...It's late and I'm finally out. I'll post this for Saturday. Should be getting back from Vancouver at some point on Sunday. In fact, I'm probably partying it up right now! Woot!
Yay future me!

Stories will be told.
Promise.

-built this city

Before Canada

2010-09-09T12:15:00.001-05:00

I am so stoked for this weekend.
Vancouver is full of such fantastic people and yours truly will be fully emersed over the next 3 or 4 days.

As this is typed, eight hours into a ten hour shift, my mind can't fully comprehend the joy that awaits. Written like that it sounds like a Disneyland for adults. But mostly, it's just Disneyland for a person like me.
Though, it is such a beautiful city with a ton of fun things to do, so there is no doubt that many people would love a visit. But no seriously...Dizz-knee-land.
Because these folks that have managed to become a part of my world there in the lovely BC...have altered my perception of time.

You see...everyone else has BC and AD...Before Christ and Anno Domini, literally "year of our lord".
Or for those who are devoutly non-religious...heh...see what I did there?
Anyway, for those who reject all religious icons or denominations, or perhaps just reject all Christian Dates and times, there is BCE and CE, or Before Common Era and Common Era.
BCE and BC are the same, as are CE and AD.
It all gets quite confusing, but not nearly as confusing as the calendar that has suddenly been thrust into my head.

You see, I have BC and AC. That is Before Canada and After Canada. As such, I was born in 28 BC, and the current year is 6 AC.
Mind blowing.
I KNOW.

Okay, I'm a bit out of control, but you were told at the beginning that I am stoked, and these kids, especially Mogivite, they all have such a profound effect on me every single time I am with them.
More than likely I will be mentally and emotionally exhausted by the end of these 4 days and I will be more than ready to go home. But that is due to overstimulation and all of the many positive things that I'll get out of it not from anything negative.
Also sushi...remind me to get the sushi.

Right.
Now I really am the rambling man.

This started out with a vague notion that I would hit all of the possible locations...here at the office, in the air, where you are right now as you read this.
But it kind of took on a manic little life of it's own...and I'm okay with that.
Quite okay.

I hope you're okay too.

-lengthy and confused

expectations

2010-09-08T20:17:00.001-05:00

I wrote a long post back on the 20th where I threw out some ideas on long term relationships and the choices that we make in life.

Uncruel left a beautiful comment and I've been mulling over the entire topic for a week or so now.

Part of the problem with long term relationships is that the directions our lives can take are so amazingly varied and diverse that sometimes I think we get overwhelmed with the idea of who we could someday be...or what we might be able accomplish in the future...and forget to focus on who and what we are, what we are accomplishing and doing right now.

Life used to be a daily struggle for survival, keeping a roof over your head and food in your belly was what you worked and strived for from dawn to dusk.
Now...with those things easily provided for a large portion of the population (I know there are those less fortunate but that's a completely separate topic) instead of life being simpler...it is instead more complicated.

As a result, many of us will make drastic life changes in our thirties and forties. Hopefully we'll all have the intelligence and foresight to make the kinds of choices that will dramatically enhance our lives...but nevermind...I'm getting off topic.

Here's what Uncruel had to say on the subject:
You fix that by A) knowing where you want to go in life and B) finding out early on, preferably before falling in love, where the other person wants to go in life. A & B were not a problem in the old days because everyone was expected to have the same plans from life, and anyone who didn't was leaned on heavily by society. The reason everyone had these plans is that they are preferences which are built into our genetic code. In the age of birth control and a wide selection of professions, many of us dare to defy our genetic motivations, and these things can no longer be assumed.

In all honesty, I should probably just go back and delete what I wrote above, given that he has put it much more eloquently here...but hey, it's my blog, and I've been mulling it over for the past week so you can be subjected to it over and over again too.

Anyway...he is so right.
But either no one has noticed this problem, or no one thinks enough of it to warn our children. We are still hammering on them that they need to get married early and have children and the two cars and the white picket fence.
Why?
I totally get that many many people will be happier with a partner. I understand from experience the biological imperative to reproduce.
Still, why not sit your children down and explain to them that there's no rush to get married, that in this day and age we can have children in our late twenties and early thirties. That if they decide not to get married at all...that's completely okay too.
Why not explain that whatever they decide and want it'd make life far better if they at least wait until they have some certainty as to what they want from life before trying to make decisions about who they want to share that life with?

Perhaps I feel like my parents should have sat me down. Maybe that's why I feel so strongly.
Meh.
I don't think either of them saw it that way. Even now my mom pushes me to get married, but more because she can't get her head around the idea that I could be happy on my own. She just doesn't want me to be alone. I get that.
Anyway. Heavy subject and a long post. Perhaps I should have warned you back at the beginning. I do normally...but nevermind. Expect regular updates for the next day or so. I'm having a slow night and am in the mood to write. We'll see how many ideas I can flesh out in the next 3 hours.

-rambling man

Austin Road Trip

2010-08-31T22:36:00.000-05:00

I took a road trip with SweetD last week to see Monkey and her little one in Austin while picking up the lovely suit I managed to leave behind last month.
Good times.
Honestly though...good times.
The road trip was fun and while I'm slightly opposed to putting the mileage on the GTI, it was fun to let it unwind a bit on the backroads. I'm so happy with that purchase. You just don't know.

SweetD spent the IAH AUS leg of the journey calling out interesting items that I just HAD to look at.
Only she waited until they had just passed to tell me.
Exactly.
Can't you see I'm driving here? I need some warning if you want me to look at something.
She just couldn't help herself. Even after I pointed it out she kept it up, in fact, at one point she was actually biting her tongue to keep herself from continuing.

Anyway, the visit with Monkey was fantastic. We started with lunch at Mighty Fine Bugers and then went back to her place for conversation and dessert. Mighty Fine makes a damned good burger, and the hand cut crinkly fries are delish.
Dessert at Monkey's house was a leftover home cooked creme brulee that she kindly offered to let me dig into. Those of you who know me will understand how quickly I agreed to take it off of her hands. It was so tasty, so wonderfully tasty.
If you ever have the means I highly recommend you pick one up.

Also, her little one has a fantastic pirate-ship-water-table contraption that caused a bit of a water fight outside. A little water never hurt anyone though, just causes giggles.
Except maybe the wicked witch, and she was misunderstood.
Poor thing.

That's all I've got.
Back in a day or two to finish up some thoughts on the two posts below.
Uncruel...thank you so much for your comments man. You never fail to amaze me with your words.

-pointing at the ketchup

games people play

2010-08-23T00:33:00.000-05:00

Monopoly anyone?
I do love a good game night. Though, for some reason I prefer games that take a decent amount of time to play.
Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly, Risk, those are right up my alley.

However, those games we play out of insecurity?
Yeah....not so much.
I just can't hack it. Especially since ninety percent of them could be avoided if we'd only be honest about how we are feeling and communicate that to the person we are directing it towards...boyfriend/girlfriend/bestfriend...
Instead of playing a game or throwing a fit or causing drama, just tell someone how you're feeling and why. Hopefully they'll be adult enough to help you deal rather than make things worse.

Not that I've never played those games...because it's so much easier to describe the proper way to handle them having made all the wrong decisions myself.
That's what we call the wisdom of experience.

I've been in relationships full of games and manipulation, on both sides, but I'm at a point in my life where I have neither the patience nor the desire to put up with the drama. Running all of this through my head...it dawned on me that the other reason I don't do games anymore is that, having plenty of past experience, I pull out the big guns at the first opportunity. You see, I'm a vendictive asshole when it comes to drama/insecurity bs, and winning these games to me means that one of two things happens:
Either I cause so much hurt and insecurity that you will never ever play them again for fear of my reaction and how it will make you feel in the end, or I'm such an angry douchebag you decide to evict me from your life.
Either way...you will never play games with me again...in which case I view either scenario a win for team Sub.
Man...reading through that again...I really AM a dick.

Here's the thing though, someone recently played a bullshit game with me and my initial reaction was largely automatic and unconscious. Even 12 hours after the fact I had to take a deep breath and think about what I was doing to refrain from being a total ass.
Notice I said "total ass" because I was still an ass...but just a fraction of one.
Fraction of ass.
heh

So, knowing that my reaction was dickish, and probably hurtful, though certainly not uncalled for or overly mean (you'll have to take my word for it)...I have to ask at what point we stop doing this.
When does our brain interject and ask us to be adults rather than petulant spoiled children lashing out at anyone who doesn't automatically make us the center of their world?
I can tell you that I became an adult when I started making decisions based on what was right and good (in my moral and ethical view) rather than based on what was easiest or caused me the least trouble. I pride myself on that now...sometimes probably too much...but still.

We are so driven by ego that it's difficult to view anything outside of that light unless a person is making a conscious decision to do so. As a result every decision we make is driven by the desire to be the best, the most noticed, most popular...whatever.
So when do we begin to put that aside...at least to some degree, in an effort to be good to our common man? When does someone elses happiness and desires actually begin to trump our own?

Maybe it's just an entirely different kind of ego that gets off on knowing I'm not the most important person on the planet.
Maybe that's the next evolution for man...
Or...possibly...I'm just full of shit and passing the time before I leave for the night.
Either way I'm still a douchebag half the time.

-still a douchebag

are you headed my direction?

2010-08-20T21:52:00.000-05:00

I'm housesitting this weekend. Taking care of the golden retriever formerly known as "crazy dog". He's not so crazy anymore. This is a good thing.
Unfortunately, it took the nullification of wedding vows for him to get all calm and collected. Perhaps he knew something his human companions didn't?
Meh.
They are both good people, just headed in different directions.

That seems to happen a lot these days. We fall in love only to figure out much later on that our significant other hopes to someday become the most popular hooker between here and Conroe. Which is about the time you realize that you've never had any desire whatsoever to be a pimp, much less one so famous, and the two of you should probably sit down and discuss the fact that you are headed in completely opposite directions.

Look, I'm very open minded. I'm progressive and different and willing to accept a ton of different lifestyles and sexual preferences...

Still, the more I think about it, the more it hits me that maybe those old fashioned folks have a few things right.

Take courting for instance:
Back in the day it was expected that a young man would get himself started in an actual career, get a house, and then...only then would he go looking for a young woman.
If he was in the country he'd get his own property...or get promise of it from his father...before looking for a wife.
In either case, the man is already headed solidly down a path and direction. Not that he can't or won't change his mind, just that he wasn't as likely to do so.

Now? None of this is expected before a major relationship or marriage. Which means that many couples get together and then figure out later on that they want entirely different things from life. So, what do you do? How do you fix that?

Don't get me wrong, my best friends got married and that certainly wasn't his situation when he proposed to her. Yet I'd swear to you that they have a fantastic relationship and a great marriage
It's just that...eh...maybe there'd be fewer divorces if we told young men that they needed to be more established before they seriously started to consider marriage.
Don't worry my AARP membership is on it's way and my walker is on backorder.

As a woman, wouldn't it be a plus to find a man who enjoyed his career and had a roof over his head that was in his name? Someone who's goals were already defined? Because then, at least you'd know what direction he was headed from the start. Maybe you meet a guy living in a condo downtown pimping hot college girls to all the biggest names in town...maybe he's exactly what you're looking for.

I've had fun dating, and I don't think that should go away. But then...how do you flip that switch from dating to seriously looking for a permanent long term relationship? Because that's really the issue here. So many of us happen to run into someone who is super fantastic, who hits all of the right buttons, so we flip from dating to serious before we have anything else figured out. And we shouldn't have to miss out on the perfect fit just because we don't have the house or the career...but maybe we should slow down and make sure we have those before we ask that special someone to spend their lives with us?
Not because they are necessary...but because where you want to live and what you want to do has such a huge impact on who and what we are that I can't imagine sharing my life with someone who doesn't have some of the same dreams and desires as I do.

Meh...I don't think this post has an ending, I'm just throwing thoughts out there. This all hit me today on the way into the office (overtime today) and continued during a smoke break outside. Perhaps tossing it on here will help purge it from my system.
Please...discuss...

-call me old fashioned

Inception

2010-08-16T21:51:00.003-05:00

Inception

Writer/Director - Christopher Nolan
Starring - Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Ellen Paige

Layers.
Onions have layers. This movie has layers. This movie is like an onion.
No. Wait. scratch that.
But yes...layers.

It's a heist movie, only it isn't.
It's sci-fi...but not crazy over the top otherworldly sci-fi. In this case a completely new impossible technology is involved, but it's cleverly placed into a setting that we will recognize and relate to. This is smart, making it far easier for us to accept the entire story.

There's also a small love story.

And a dash of espionage.

As I said...layers.

When we look for onions we test for many things...but looks, color, texture...these are the most important to me. Movies are no different, and the cinematography here didn't disappoint. Stunning landscapes and dream sequences abound. The astounding views and scenes shown in the trailers are carried throughout the film.

Onions will make you cry. This movie...
Well, okay, no crying.
Let's forget about the onions.
Layers though...from beginning to end you will be thinking about the many different levels and different plays taking place. It is definitely the best movie I've seen this year...but you won't likely walk out of the theatre with a smile on your face, because it isn't a feel-good king of thing.
Emotional draw is what this movie did best. You become invested in the outcome. Not just along a single story line either. I don't want to give anything away, but there are two poignant emotional moments that really struck at me. Both are similar in what they were supposed to be...but so different in the moments themselves. That's right, I'm a vague bastard. I'm also a badass and a sweetheart.
Because layers.

Exactly.

Yet for all of that...the plot was relatively simple. Not much in the way of twists and turns or unseen moments. Apparently some folks haven't liked this...but trust me, with everything else going on here, I think that would have made this movie too complicated, too intricate.

I'm going to tell you that Inception is a must-see. It is currently #1 on my list for this year. Just be prepared for a show that will make you think.

-dream weaver

Salt

2010-08-15T19:07:00.001-05:00

Salt

Writer - Kurt Wimmer (also wrote Ultraviolet and Equilibrium)
Director - Phillip Noyce
Starring - Angelina Jolie

This is a spy thriller, no bones about that. More Jason Bourne than James Bond. Though, I think I liked that.
Heh...I just realized that those two spys have the same initials.
Anyway...the fight scenes are mostly believable, and the camera shots are kept clean. The only use of the jittery camera is during one of the car chases.
I've heard people say that Jolie doesn't deliver, but I don't think she had much to work with. The dialogue is kept to a minimum and the opportunity to show her character as anything other than an action hero are short and few. I think that those she did have were used relatively well.

The other thing I liked about this movie is that it wasn't so far out of whack that everything came from left field, but also not so simple that I was guessing all of the plot twists long before they happened.
It engaged me, kept my mind playing, and let me figure things out just before they happened. That's a key feature to the thriller and is pulled off very well here.

So, final verdict...it's worth the price at the theatre. I put it at #2 for the year. If you enjoy a good spy movie with a healthy dose of action and plenty of plot twists...this is the movie for you.

-not a russian spy

2010 Movie List

2010-08-15T18:40:00.010-05:00

Okay, so.
The idea here is to rank all of the movies I've seen this year...only I didn't review all of them and well...I'm not sure how to place them.
As a result we'll start with what I've seen in the past two weeks and go from there.
I will tell you though...Dispicable Me was awesome. Go see it.
Also...Toy Story 3...I've been told it's a masterpiece but I ho-hummed it. Don't know, maybe because I expected more than their stock storyline after all of this time?
Eh...if you liked the other two you'll still like this one.

Anyway...onto the list!

1. Inception
2. The Social Network
3. RED
4. Harry Potter
5. Megamind
6. Salt
7. The Other Guys

-everyone's a critic

hello again

2010-08-14T02:04:00.002-05:00

It's been so long since I've written that this feels like that first trip on a bike after years of not riding. I know what to do, how to do it, but nothing quite fits.
It feels clumsy.
I've lost my grace.

Oh let's be honest here...I never had any grace when it comes to writing. Not really. Those who know me will tell you that what comes out here is very rarely considered before it is added to the page. Thoughts flow from graymatter to fingertip at 78wpm. I took a test the other day...that's not just a random guess.
But yes...what you read is not far removed from what you'd hear should you be standing in front of me. I do enjoy the occasional verbal game. It is fun to stretch my brain and test these skills...but mostly...
Mostly you get these phrases in their original form.
It's better that way.
Cleaner.
As well, I'm far less likely to censor myself if I refrain from thinking it all out.
I think that's what happened. Part of the reason I disappeared. I was thinking too hard about what I might say.
What I should say.

So I said nothing at all.

Meh.
I'm learning. Still learning after all these years and I'm so happy to know this, to realize how far I've come and how far I've yet to go. I'm proud of the man I am...that's not boasting or bragging, just a fact.

I am proud of the man I am.

I have flaws...certainly.
I probably use "..." far too much when I write, heh.
Just think of them as pauses, because that's where I'd breathe or think or, well...eh...
*shrugging of shoulders*
You get the picture.

I'm back though.

I'm back.
I've deleted all of the old entries for now. They'll be reposted over time along with entries from the old site. That one with all of the amazing folks where I found this blogging phenomena for the first time.
There is happiness in that thought, and you can't see the way the corners of my mouth turned up into a grin just thinking about them...but there you have it.

I'm still that same guy I was a few months ago.
Obsessed with making things using his own two hands. So focused on the relationships around him and what we all get from them. Still trying to figure out how the written word so affects his fellow man, or woman...you get my drift.
But making his way, day by day, and happy to be here, you can see it from ear to ear.
Happy.

-like a cheshire cat

Patience please...

2010-08-12T17:05:00.000-05:00

We're under construction.

We'll have a new entry for your happy little minds to digest in just two shakes.