Am I invisible? Honestly folks...you'd tell me wouldn't you?
Not that I think I'm always invisible, or even ever completely invisible. It's more like I'm slightly opaque...kinda like frosted glass.
Only I'm not supposed to be, right? That isn't normal.
And you would tell me wouldn't you?
I mean, say we're having a conversation over dinner and you look up at me over that forkfull of delicious pasta you're eating only to find that my entire left arm has disappeared.
You'd say something right?
I ask because I've been having trouble lately remaining substantial enough to be seen.
I mean...I never can catch myself...well...lacking...but I've begun to think that I'll casually look up into the mirror and just not be there...like someone out of a vampire movie.
Weird huh?
Take today for instance...
I'm in the bathroom stall doing my thing.
I know, but bare with me. (couldn't resist)
Really now, we have automatic flushers on the toilets triggered by a motion sensor that sees when you are in the stall and flushes when you leave.
When you leave...this is key.
Just now, it flushed once every 5 or 6 seconds...as if it just couldn't make up it's mind. Is someone standing there peeing? Maybe not. Yes, no, yes, no. The hell? I haven't moved...I'm not rocking back and forth...not bopping to a song, I don't suffer from parkinsons...at least not yet...knock on THAT wood will ya?
So what the hell?
And this isn't the first time dear readers...no. I've had strange run ins with mechanical molesters in the past. There was a door at the old job rigged to recognize when someone walked nearby and unlock so you could push it and leave. The number of times I hit that door like a brick wall and had to back off and wave at the sensor so that it'd see me...I can't even say.
In fact, one time, I stood and waved and nothing...just ignored me. Imagine looking up from your desk to see the funny guy with the pointy hair walking backwards and forwards in front of a door as if he's practicing for the moment he actually wants to leave.
The hell?
Then there are the motion sensors that go off on their own...the office light switch that kicks on before I'm even in the room, or at a spot where it can even register my movement.
How, in the name of all that is holy, does it know I'm going to enter the room before I'm actually in there? How?
Crazy bastard machines making me crazy.
Or maybe I'm just part vampire. Not full vampire mind you...just part, like my mom and dad had some twisted threesome with Count Dracula. Man...that's an image I won't get rid of for a few weeks.
Eew.
Really though...what's the deal? Any of you have this happen?
-type o negative
1 comment:
You were wearing black, which doesn't reflect infrared any better than it reflects visible light. Not quite the same as being a vampire, but I guess it's a good start.
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