Work is quiet and I’m trying to develop the writing habit again. Let’s see how this goes. The first few hours of the day are an excellent opportunity, as I’m not supposed to be on the net during the workaday 9 to 5 hours…but after is apparently acceptable? Well…assuming that it is quiet and all of upper management is gone for the day.
Anyway, so when it is quiet during the first few hours I’m left twiddling my thumbs…or writing an email, which is what this looks like at the moment.
I’ve decided that I can’t worry or focus on the relationship stuff. Certainly it will be in my mind, and I’ll be dating still…when I can…but it seems that’s most of what I’ve been focusing on lately and that is getting me nowhere.
So, no more stressing, and no more drama. Okay, I’m sure there will be some drama, but we are keeping it to a minimum.
Instead, I’m going to focus on my future, on making decisions and doing what I need to do to be happy.
I want a farm.
No that’s not a joke or a typo. I’m going to be a farmer.
Ever since I moved back to Texas I’ve been drawn to handmade projects. More than anything those involving food. I want to be independent and capable of taking care of myself. Knowing where my food comes from is very important to me. When I make bread, butter, jam…whatever…there is a joy there that is undeniable. It’s silly…I’m well aware, but that joy is what I want every day. Certainly, there will be rough days and hardships. Sometimes everything will go wrong, and I’m okay with that. Because I want all of the good that comes with this decision too.
You can’t possibly understand how happy it made me when Converse called last year asking for advice on how to make jam. Or when Monkey calls asking about a certain dish, because I’m her other amateur chef and she’s hoping I can provide insight.
Maybe if you had seen the smile on my face as I stood in a bedroom doorway watching a young woman dance absentmindedly as she cooked an alfredo sauce for herself…something I taught her…
That same happiness hits me every time I crack open a bottle of cider or beer. It was the same as a group of friends stood around tasting the cheese I made. I can’t wait to delve into the world of charcuterie…of home smoked bacon and cure pancetta…lardo….
Oh man…lardo…
Because here’s the thing…I’m getting excited just writing about this. I’m not going to get rich or famous…but I’m pretty certain that I’ll be over the moon with joy every day. Because this is what makes me happy…so it’s what I need to do.
So yes…a farm.
Some day soon.
-joy in every bite
1 comment:
I can see you doing it. I can see it making you happy. I didn't realize that NOT doing just that with your life was even option...
You've had the drama, and just like the chicken pox, once you've had it one time, it's a lot easier to spot and therefore avoid the next time.
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